“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is on hiatus this week, for the Independence Day holiday. We’ll be back next week.
God bless America !
Thank you for your support,
- Herb Stupp, editor
HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY !
Monthly Archives: June 2023
TOP TEN NEW TELEVISION PROGRAMS BEING CONSIDERED for a “WOKE” FALL SEASON…
- “Sanford & Offspring” – Fred Sanford loses time from his junkyard business as he accommodates two children who’ve transitioned to and back from multiple genders.
- “FBI Most Wanted” – Peter Strzok, Jim Comey and Lisa Page hand Secretary Clinton a sledgehammer to enable wanton destruction of hard drives, while they stage an armed raid on Larry Kudlow after 2020 surveillance footage reveals him in conversation with a smoker on Federal property.
8. “Big Little Lies” — After years of bald-faced lying, Congressman Adam Schiff is lionized by fellow House Dems, praised by mainstream media, awarded a “Genius” grant, and handed the nomination for U.S. Senator from California.
7. “Freaks and Geeks” — Seeking a 2024 convention that “looks like America,” the Democrat National Committee begins appointing delegates from every possible identity group, including transgender vegan Samoan sorcerers and “Progressives for Sasquatch.”
- “Wheel of Fortune” – Alejandro Majorkas replaces Pat Sajak, as migrants spin the big wheel to see who gets to live in Palm Springs, and who may return to Martha’s Vineyard. Consolation prize: a migrant contestant gets to simply stay put in his luxury Manhattan hotel.
- “Blue Biden Bloods” – Four generations of the Biden Crime Family meet at the dinner table each week to compare booty they’ve hauled back from foreign influence peddlers. Legal consequences are never a consideration, not in the slightest.
- “Seinfeld 2.0” — This re-boot of the once-comedic series is now a mystery-sci-fi-drama, as woke network censors prevent Jerry and his neighbors from saying anything funny that could be “triggering.”
- “Naked and Afraid” — The program moves to the White House Rose Garden, where synthetically and naturally blessed exhibitionists pose with the President prior to revealing way too much for the cameras.
- “Mr. Bragg’s Neighborhood” — The Manhattan District Attorney dons a welcoming, warm cardigan sweater as he comforts children in the studio, telling them “not to worry” about the blood-curdling screams, gun shots, explosions and sounds of humans stampeding just outside the doors.
…and the NUMBER ONE NEW TELEVISION PROGRAM BEING CONSIDERED for a “WOKE” FALL SEASON is…
- “Better Call Merrick” — As Congressional investigators look at stunning crimes ignored by the FBI and Justice Deparment, Joseph phones his personal legal “fixer” to make sure his political opponents are raided and indicted.
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail [email protected] .
TOP TEN LESSER-KNOWN BILLS PASSED in the FINAL DAYS of the NY STATE LEGISLATIVE SESSION…
10. NY State “honors” the Second Amendment; however, ammunition may only be purchased exclusively at “ Red’s Bait & Tackle” in Sharon Springs. Red is the underachieving brother of the beloved local Assemblyman.
9. Food trucks and lemonade stands in all 62 counties must prominently display a ratified labor agreement, next to the menu.
8. In Albany and Erie counties, the property taxes of registered Republicans may be levied at a rate up to (but not exceeding) 35% higher than other registrants.
7. Within NY state waters, as of July 5, it will be a Class “B” felony for a shark to assault any resident, including “asylum seekers.”
6. By September 1, all public and charter high schools must install cannabis vending machines in their gender-free rest rooms.
5. Migrants housed in hotels and dormitories may access the mini-bar and one premium movie channel, 24/7.
4. It is now a Class “A” misdemeanor to restrain or impede anyone carrying stolen merchandise, in any way.
3. The Mario Cuomo (Tappan Zee) Bridge has been re-named the “Bill de Blasio Escape from New York Gangway.”
2. Governor Hochul’s new “Gun Free Zones” do not apply to elected officials nor celebrities (as anointed by the co-hosts of “The View”)
…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN BILL PASSED IN the FINAL DAYS of the NY STATE LEGISLATIVE SESSION is…
1. There shall not be hiring or employment discrimination against any person presenting “thereself” for work or hiring in full “drag queen regalia.”
This law shall include the evening news anchor positions at CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN and MSNBC
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary and is NOT a source of real news To communicate with the editor, please email [email protected]
TOP TEN REQUESTS FROM NEW MIGRANTS RESIDING in NEW YORK’S ONCE-POSH ROOSEVELT HOTEL
- A new, larger “My Pillow, 2.0” for the king-sized bed
- Personal shopper & concierge (City Hall staff accepted)
- Ten free bets on “Fan Duel”
- Shuttle buses to New York beaches in Rockaway and Coney Island
- Voter registration forms (non-English preferred)
- NYC “Gun Free Zone” exemption
- Admission to “The View”
- “Date Your New Neighbor” account (comes with free shoes and smoking jacket)
- Leather briefcases, to carry fentanyl
..and the NUMBER ONE REQUEST FROM MIGRANTS NOW RESIDING at NEW YORK’S ONCE-POSH ROOSEVELT HOTEL is…
- Taylor Swift concert tickets
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail [email protected] .
TOP TEN NEW “FEATS” POLITICIANS are DOING this WEEK to PROVE THEIR “FITNESS for OFFICE”….
- In the well of the U.S. Senate, Mitch McConnell bench-pressed Kirsten Gillibrand ten times.
- Kamala is reading an entire children’s book to a 3rd grade class.
- Donald Trump and Chris Christie meet in a sumo “cage” match…
- Adam Schiff dons an 18-pound, portable, back-mounted lie detector, 24/7.
- Gavin Newsom to walk alone through San Francisco at 2:00AM, with a $100 bill stapled to his lapel.
- First Lady Dr. Jill and First Gentleman Doug Emhoff set up a D.C. “kissing booth” as a fund-raiser for their favorite charity: “The Hunter Defense Fund” on GoFundMe.com.
- US Senator Jon Fetterman wore a windsor-knotted tie to the office THREE DAYS in a row! The last one he tied himself.
- Rushing towards a TV crew and then a radio microphone, Chuck Schumer set new “Senior Olympics” marks in both the long-jump and the high-jump.
- Joseph Biden taking “Cornpop” behind the school gym (any gym!) again.
…and the NUMBER ONE “FEAT” a POLITICIAN is DOING this WEEK to PROVE HER “FITNESS for OFFICE” is…
- Hillary seeks world record with the 25-pound sledge hammer, smashing 35 harddrives in 60 seconds.
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit www.gipperten.com . Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.
While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back. Enjoy!
To communicate with the editor, please e-mail [email protected] .