Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. “What is the expected longevity of a bumbling president who is juggling multiple investigations?” – Kamala (Tuesday)                                              – G. Newsom (Thursday)

9. “If I am in New York illegally, how do I upgrade my free hotel room?”       – “Buddy”

8.  “36 Hours in Taipei, Taiwan.”     -Xi J-P

7.   “Would a new gender identification help or hurt in the polls?”       – Chuck S.

6.     “On balance, can we save the planet by flying private?”      – J. Kerry,   “Mayor” Pete B.,    Leonardo

5.  “Do people who leave New York plan to come back?”         – Kathy H.

4.     “What do they call that Cabinet agency that has the military in it?”    – Joseph B.

3.    “Is it easy to send Leopard tanks across a border anonymously?”    –  Chancellor Olaf

2.    “Do we really need a Strategic Petroleum Reserve?”      – Secretary E. G.

…and the NUMBER ONE “GOOGLE” SEARCH by CELEBRITIES this WEEK is…

1.   “If someone is wandering aimlessly, is it more humane to open or close his robe?”    – Dr. Jill B.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10. During the State of the Union, that seat behind the President, reserved for the Vice President?   Look for Hunter there, smoking.

9. Kamala arrives home​ at the Naval Observatory​ to see Mayor Pete​,​ smiling with a coffee mug.

8. Her proudest achievement:  “Border Czar.”

7. During interview on “Meet the Press,” Kamala’s responses are “explained”​ live​ by ​Karine Jean-Pierre.

6. When Joseph ​i​sn’t call​ing​ her “President Harris,”  he refers to “y’know, the girl, ​ ​y’know.”

5.  She is spotted discussing legislation with George Santos.

4. Kamala in​sulted​ Hunter​ by not investing in his​ ​latest ​Chinese scheme.

3.   Top item on her “to-do” list is always “finding root causes.”

     ​ 2.  To chauffeur the VP to Andrews AFB, staff is issued a 2008 Impala from the GSA Motorpool.

…and the NUMBER ONE EARLY TIP-OFF​ that KAMALA MIGHT not be on the 2024 TICKET is….

1.  This week, the “Kamala Cackle” is trending as the #1 ring tone in America.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Inserted into Kennedy Center audience brochures

9.  The cafeteria at Dr. Jill’s community college

   8.  The Corvette’s glove compartment

   7.   In a pile of local business flyers at that Wilmington ice cream parlor

   6.   Left behind on the private jets used by John Kerry and Pete Buttigieg

   5.   A computer repair shop in Delaware

    4.   Near the damaged door in the Pelosi home

   3.   Collated with official menus at the Vice President’s residence

   2.   Folded into origami ornaments on the White House Christmas tree

 …and the NUMBER ONE YET-TO-BE DISCOVERED LOCATION for SECRET, CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS is…

   1.    Hunter’s sometimes-locked trunk of narcotics

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. The “smoking lounge” for members will be re-opened …. but only to pot users.    – Hakeem

9. One House session per month will be convened in Eagle Pass, Texas.     – Byron

8. They nominated me for WHAT?         – Donald

7. OK, we will have to vote in person.   But that c​ould be​ from the Capitol Yoga Class.     – Hakeem

6. Of course ​the Cheyenne Mountain NORAD Base ​should be renamed ​for Lauren Boebert.    -Kevin

5.  ​The 21st tourist to visit the House Cannon Building each Monday will be able to trigger a “motion to remove the Speaker.”     -Matt

4.   As part of the “House Wellness” program, Statuary Hall will be home to the new “Andy Biggs Hot Tub & Spa.”      -Kevin

3.  By special arrangement, but after midnight, Air Force Two will be requisitioned for a lucky member’s flight back to “their” district.                                                           – Hakeem

2.   That great Christy painting of the “Framers at Independence Hall?”   We can photo-shop your likeness between Hamilton & Madison…. IF you are the deciding vote.    –Kevin

…and the NUMBER ONE SECRET PROMISE to OBTAIN VOTES for SPEAKER of the HOUSE is…

1.  Who wants to be the new spokesman for “My Pillow?”     -Chip

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

BLESSINGS to our READERS for this new year!

10. Pete Buttigieg:    If you’re so smart, resign and start your own airline. 

9. Kamala Harris:   OK, show us a list of your accomplishments.   We dare you.

      8. Joseph Biden:     Resign prior to impeachment, but get President Kamala to pardon you.

      7. Rep. Eric Swallwell:   Create new bilingual (English/Chinese) dating website for married Congressmen.

      6.  Vladimir Putin:    A new girlfriend could serve as a welcome distraction.

5. George Santos:  New PR strategy:  “Well, I IDENTIFY as a Goldman Sachs executive.”

4. Brian Stelter:  Score a new high-paying “anchor” job on Russian TV or Al Jazzeera.

3. The Cuomo brothers:  (to discourage unwanted touching) Always wear those oversized soccer goalie gloves whenever you leave your homes.

2.  Rep. Adam Schiff:   Get a new hoax to sell on CNN and MSNBC.

…and the NUMBER ONE POLITICAN RESOLUTION for 2023 is: 

1.  Gov. Kathy Hochul:   Citizens shouldn’t protect their families?    Then give up the 24/7 phalanx of armed state troopers who guard you.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .