Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  While calling on the Air Force One phone, yells at staff to “turn down that Victrola!”​

 9.  Referred to​ the ​ “Fingerization” of that nation governed from Helsinki.​   (This one is true!)​

 8.   With a live mic nearby, praises Hunter as “the Biden family meal ticket.”

 7.   President lashes out at man, calling him a “lyin’, dog-faced pony-soldier…,”   only to realize he’s in a confessional.

 6.  As Transportation Secretary Pete Bud​d​igieg arrives in the Oval Office, Joseph asks him for “a Coke and a hot dog.”

 5.  Calls President Xi and assures him that “I am indeed ‘The Big Guy.’”

 4.  Looking out of a bedroom window toward the Potomac, asks Dr. Jill: “… is that the border​, honey​?”

 3.  Threatens military action if Canada doesn’t stop sending us comedic actors, affordable energy and TV game show hosts.

 2. After introduction from his new White House Press Secretary, President utters:  “Thanks so much, Kamala.”

…and the NUMBER ONE JOSEPH BIDEN GAFFE THIS WEEK is…

 1.  While in Seoul,​  Joseph greets new South Korean President Yoon Suk-yeol with a “Hey, Moon!” shout-out…. then apologizes with “Sorry, Kim,” and proceeds to forcefully denounce “Jim Crow 2.0​.​”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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 (​This​ memo left in the Press ​Secretary’s​ desk drawer…)

10.    The ​ambient ​temperature in the White House Briefing Room is Putin’s fault.

 9.    Remember, abortion is “health care.”   Yeah, and you can keep your doctor.

 8.    If Dr. Jill is present, feel free to refer to the Vice President as “that woman.”

 7.    “Sure, some prices have increased, but not used Pelotons, Victrolas or CD players.”

 6.   “Remember, you are a pioneer.    No press secretary has ever had to defend so many catastrophes at once.”

 5.     If you head to the White House Mess for lunch, try the “Ultra-MAGA Chili.”   It’s about time this administration created some new sources of gas.

 4.     No presidential Press Secretary has ever gone hungry.   On the other hand, our boss has already created some truly amazing shortages.

 3.     “This administration is not in monkeypox denial.”

 2.​     Repeat this one:   “The climate is in crisis, but the border is secure.”​   

…and the NUMBER ONE SUGGESTION LEFT by DEPARTING WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY JEN PSAKI for her SUCCESSOR, KARINE JEAN-PIERRE is…

 1.  If you see Joseph wandering around after hours, it is OK to close his robe.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  You still haven’t heard about Hunter’s laptop.

 9.  Visitors to your home are greeted by a bust of Brian Stelte​r​.

 8.  You say: Thank you for ​fighting inflation​, Joseph Biden.​

 7.    That Homeland Security guy says the border is at peace.

 6.   Russian gas pipeline​ = good​, Keystone pipeline = bad.

 5.    Illegal migrants​ need all that baby formula.​

 4.   Of course Kamala is ready to run the country.

 3.     You are passionate about women’s rights…   but can’t define “woman.”

​ 2.     Y’know, there’s a good side to $7 gasoline.​

…and the NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU’VE BEEN RELYING on the TIMES and CNN for YOUR NEWS is:

1. Your greatest fear is being perceived as “transphobic.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  At today’s​ prices​, Air Force One has​ just​ ​enough fuel for PR trips to Europe…    but not to our own border. 

 9.  To add sprinkles to ​Joseph’s​ ice cream cone, server charges an extra $11​.​

 8.  Just since last year, the taxpayer cost for the Vice President’s “NO BAIL” tattoo has gone from $2,000 to $5,000.

 7.  President Zelensky emerges from secret location to request foreign aid in pesos, not dollars.

 6.   Cost of 33 RPM ​Victrola​ record players and rotary-dial phones are through the roof!

 5.    From the Oval Office window, you can see hot dog vendors pushing wheelbarrows of cash to the bank.

 4.     New Federal poverty level ​for 2023:   $96,753 per annum​.

 3.   Joseph’s “hair plugs tune-up” will cost taxpayers $7,000 this year, versus $4,000 last year​… (​even in Delaware​!)​

​ 2. ​ Remember that $8 billion worth of military hardware Mr. Biden left in Afghanistan?     The Taliban is willing to sell it back to us for a mere trillion.

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY JOSEPH BIDEN and KAMALA are BEGINNING to SENSE THAT INFLATION is a PROBLEM is…

​ 1.   According to Hunter, an “escort” charges $200 more today than on St. Paddy’s Day.​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  At today’s​ prices​, Air Force One has​ just​ ​enough fuel for PR trips to Europe…    but not to our own border. 

 9.  To add sprinkles to ​Joseph’s​ ice cream cone, server charges an extra $11​.​

 8.  Just since last year, the taxpayer cost for the Vice President’s “NO BAIL” tattoo has gone from $2,000 to $5,000.

 7.  President Zelensky emerges from secret location to request foreign aid in pesos, not dollars.

 6.   Cost of 33 RPM ​Victrola​ record players and rotary-dial phones are through the roof!

 5.    From the Oval Office window, you can see hot dog vendors pushing wheelbarrows of cash to the bank.

 4.     New Federal poverty level ​for 2023:   $96,753 per annum​.

 3.   Joseph’s “hair plugs tune-up” will cost taxpayers $7,000 this year, versus $4,000 last year​… (​even in Delaware​!)​

​ 2. ​ Remember that $8 billion worth of military hardware Mr. Biden left in Afghanistan?     The Taliban is willing to sell it back to us for a mere trillion.

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY JOSEPH BIDEN and KAMALA are BEGINNING to SENSE THAT INFLATION is a PROBLEM is….

​ 1.   According to Hunter, an “escort” charges $200 more today than on St. Paddy’s Day.

​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  At today’s​ prices​, Air Force One has​ just​ ​enough fuel for PR trips to Europe…    but not to our own border. 

 9.  To add sprinkles to ​Joseph’s​ ice cream cone, server charges an extra $11​.​

 8.  Just since last year, the taxpayer cost for the Vice President’s “NO BAIL” tattoo has gone from $2,000 to $5,000.

 7.  President Zelensky emerges from secret location to request foreign aid in pesos, not dollars.

 6.   Cost of 33 RPM ​Victrola​ record players and rotary-dial phones are through the roof!

 5.    From the Oval Office window, you can see hot dog vendors pushing wheelbarrows of cash to the bank.

 4.     New Federal poverty level ​for 2023:   $96,753 per annum​.

 3.   Joseph’s “hair plugs tune-up” will cost taxpayers $7,000 this year, versus $4,000 last year​… (​even in Delaware​!)​

​ 2. ​ Remember that $8 billion worth of military hardware Mr. Biden left in Afghanistan?     The Taliban is willing to sell it back to us for a mere trillion.

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY JOSEPH BIDEN and KAMALA are BEGINNING to SENSE THAT INFLATION is a PROBLEM is…

​ 1.   According to Hunter, an “escort” charges $200 more today than on St. Paddy’s Day.​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  At today’s​ prices​, Air Force One has​ just​ ​enough fuel for PR trips to Europe…    but not to our own border. 

 9.  To add sprinkles to ​Joseph’s​ ice cream cone, server charges an extra $11​.​

 8.  Just since last year, the taxpayer price for the Vice President’s “NO BAIL” tattoo has gone from $2,000 to $5,000.

 7.  President Zelensky emerges from secret location to request foreign aid in pesos, not dollars.

 6.   Cost of 33 RPM ​Victrola​ record players and rotary-dial phones are through the roof!

 5.    From the Oval Office window, you can see hot dog vendors pushing wheelbarrows of cash to the bank.

 4.     New Federal poverty level ​for 2023:   $96,753 per annum​.

 3.   Joseph’s “hair plugs tune-up” will cost taxpayers $7,000 this year, versus $4,000 last year​… (​even in Delaware​!).​

​ 2. ​ Remember that $8 billion worth of military hardware Mr. Biden left in Afghanistan?     The Taliban is willing to sell it back to us for a mere trillion.

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY JOSEPH BIDEN and KAMALA are BEGINNING to SENSE THAT INFLATION is a PROBLEM is:

​ 1.   According to Hunter, an “escort” charges $200 more today than on St. Paddy’s Day.

​

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

​10.   “Hear me out, inflation can be a good thing.​“

 9.    “The world is a dangerous place.   That’s why Democrats say: Let’s cut the defense budget.“

 8.   “Democrats delivered on every promise.  Now, we feel your pain.“

 7.   “End the ‘Car Culture.’  Let’s Wait for the Electric Bus Together.“

 6.   “Proudly Shutting Down Natural Gas… and Opening Up that Southern Border.“

 5.  “We have only Six Years to Handle the ‘Climate Crisis,’ friends.”   (John Kerry Speak​ing​ from the cabin of his Private Jet.)

 4.   “Death and Taxes — Why Settle for Just One?“

 3.   “Peace through bumbling.“

 2.  “Cuomo Who?”

—and the NUMBER ONE HOUSE DEMOCRAT “TRIAL BALLOON” SLOGAN for NOVEMBER is…

1.   “Endorsed by Kamala Harris.“

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .