Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. Quick!  Buy “Air Greenland” stock this morning!

9. Leading candidate for governor of the great new State of Greenland campaigns on slogan: “Og, hvis valgt, jeg lover at holde disse forfærdelige Cuomo  “trængsel prissætning ” vejafgifter ud af Grønland .”    (And, if elected, I promise to keep those horrible Cuomo ‘congestion pricing’ tolls out of Greenland!”)

​ 8. Save tax dollars by copying state flag of California, but photo-shop polar bear on to it.​

7. Pizza Hut to roll out tasty “blubber” toppings nation-wide.

6. Just imagine those red, American-made hats:  “Gor Gronland Godt Igen”  (“Make Greenland Great Again,” in Danish).

5.   “Miss USA” will no longer face swimsuit competition from “Miss Greenland.”

4. Your next NBA franchise:  The “Nuuk Musk Oxen”

3. Believe it or not, the homeless issue really recedes here in winter.

​ 2. Cheeky, newly-elected state legislators can re-name municipality of “Upernavik” ​as “Clothing Optional Dunes.”

…and the NUMBER ONE ADVANTAGE to GREENLAND BECOMING the 51st STATE is:

​ 1. Who doesn’t want their own piece of “The Igloos at Trump Fjords?”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

Eight of these 10 “gaffes” are accurate quotes. The other two were made up by your humble editor. Can you guess which two are fake?

10. “We choose truth over facts…”

9. “This is a big $%&@#$% deal!” (heard over open microphone at the White House Obamacare bill signing ceremony)

8. “It’s great to be back here in North Carolina.”  (during remarks in Danville, VA.)

7. “…Avoid planes, subways and classrooms.”   (comment while other officials discouraged overreaction during swine flu epidemic)

6. “This isn’t a real massage, honey.”  

5. “Why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university?”   (part of a speech plagiarized from British political extremist Neil Kinnock)

4. “Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents, three of them intimately.”

3. “Believe me, Barack Obama has a big stick.”

2. “Tulsi, Tulsi…  If I was only 30 years younger.”

…and the NUMBER ONE GAFFE from a CERTAIN FORMER VICE PRESIDENT is:

1. “I mean, you get the first African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice looking guy.  I mean, that’s storybook, man.”

(Quotes #2 and #6 are completely fake. The rest were actually uttered by former VP Joe Biden).

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  So, you’re a “vegan,” Senator Booker?    I liked that Mr. Spock character too.

  9.   Sorry, Congresswoman Gabbard.   Ain’t no “lettuce on a stick” around here.

  8.  A huge cow made out of butter?   Back in San Francisco, we have a 20-foot rat made from marijuana joints.

  7.   No, I won’t eat meat.   But as your president, I would defend Lady Gaga’s right to wear it.

  6.   Senator Warren, does the Constitution really protect cannibalism?

  5.   I thought Pork Rinds played the fiddle for Rascal Flatts.

  4.   Maybe if I told you this steer died of natural causes…

   3. Governor Enslee, the most carbon-friendly meat is actually squirrel.  Boiled or grilled?

  2.   If your magic crystals can make this watercress taste like pulled pork, y’got my vote, Miss Williamson.

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT MADE to a PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE at the MEAT-FRIENDLY IOWA STATE FAIR is:

  1.   Senator Sanders, the “Wing Ding” dinner isn’t named for the entrees, but for your crazy platform.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  If you win the nomination, can I be the Ying to your Yang?

 9.  No, this isn’t a sugar high.   I ​hop-scotch​ around El Paso like this​ all the time​.

 8. Suppose, just suppose…  instead of giving everybody cash, we gave ’em a grand’s worth of weed​ each month​…?

 7. No, I’m not the “chrystals” lady, I’m a US Senator.

6.   So your vacation White House would be in Newark?

​ 5. ​  So your winter White House would be in Minnesota?​ ​

 4.   ​​Would you support giving each ​“​undocumented​“​ person a​ free electric car​?   Show of hands, please.    

 3.   Please, please.  Just put this Indian headdress on just once, just for me….. 

2. OK, there was no Gillibrand singing in “Abba.”   Are you in the “tribute” band?

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD AFTER or PRIOR to the DEMOCRAT DEBATES is:

1. With some hard work, you could be ready for prime time in 2024, Joe.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .