Your Weekly American Top Ten List

Guess which 8 entries are from an actual dating site, and which 2 were created by your editor…

10.   31, gender unimportant. ​Hitchhike with me ​along Comrade Che’s South American motorcycle paths this fall.  Along the way, we will sleep under the stars ​and steal from plutocrats.

 9.  (He/they) baby anarchist, a tad religious, super queer, early 20s, Dumb brain w/ social anxiety impedes me from mtg people  the old fashioned way…..

 8.   38, he/him likes women.  Sometimes described as an eclectic mix of value form theory, autonomism, Maoism, and Star Trek.   Here to cook dinner or argue about social reproduction theory and Gritty.   Just trying to keep socialism weird.

 7.  23, black​&puertorican pan trans girl (she/her) socialist looking for something casual/non/monog.  Fairly reformist. w/ an appetite for the rich.  Love biking+dancing in pretty dresses.

 6.   26 he/him genderless, looking for she/her, they/them.  unaffiliated.  writes poetry.   grand ambitions (delusional). silly.

 5.   significantly left (maybe anarcho-syndicalist) cis hetero male, 23yo looking for fwp, something casual, convos, possibly somethin’ serious.  Interested in imperialism, feminist legal theses, Palestinian rights, food & movies.

 4.  28 trans-fem queer socialist satanist (she/her) seeking any/all genders for fun and book recommendations.  tell me queer county commune must-haves.  no cops, no chasers.

 3. 26 yr old cornbread communist. trans and queer gentlethem.  misandry-adjacent.  giallo-obsessed.  graphic designer, artist and occasional gaymer.  let’s cook dinner, build a fire, or go on a hike!!  into moral clarity, painterly distraction.

 2.   29, straight, autistic, n.b. acid convert, Music and literature, but nowadays mostly music.   Let’s jam and get rid of right to work laws together.

…and the NUMBER ONE AD GLEANED FROM a LEFT-OF-CENTER DATING SITE is:

1.  Atheist? Trotskyite?  Celibate?  Me too!

Which two entries were written by your editor?  Numbers 10 and 1.   All others actual ads are from a lefty dating site.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

(Whew! We had a 14-hour power and Internet outage, so we barely got this “Top Ten” to your inbox on time….)

10.  Why wait?  ​Call for the immediate abolition of the gasoline-powered engine. ​Hold your “press avail” at the​ Indianapolis 500​.​

 9.  Find and announce another five genders.

 8.  When comparing air-conditioned processing centers for illegals to Nazi death camps, be brave and do so at a gathering of Holocaust survivors.​

 7.   Try to reclaim a former stronghold of Democrat voters.   Hold your next “Green New Deal” news conference outside ​the Marshal County Coal Mine in West Virginia.

 6.  If your government health plan is enacted, tell us if Medicare will go bankrupt before Congresswoman Ocasio becomes eligible to run for president (2024).

 5.   Historically, ladies, how often does “democratic” socialism remain democratic?

 4.  ​ Kindly explain how criticism of ideas equals racism.

 3. Of course “the Squad” has ideas on dealing with the Strait of Hormuz, nukes in Korea, the South China Sea and eastern Ukraine.​  Back to-ya in a minute.

 2.  Prank Speaker Pelosi by wearing your Antifa masks on the floor of the House.

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY the FOUR RADICAL CONGRESSWOMEN can PROMOTE THEIR “PROGRESSIVE” AGENDA is:

1.  As soon as US Senator Mazie Hirono lands in Honolulu’s Daniel K. Inouye Airport, make good on your promise to shut down airplane travel.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Is that anything nutritious on your head?

9. Hair?  That is so 2015.

8. As a matter of fact, I actually do keep a weapon up there.

7. I have found that my mohawk has assisted me in closing high-end sales.

6. Indeed, I have other similarities to Rasputin….

5. That message I shaved in to my skull says:   “GIVE ME THIS JOB.” Impressed?

4. I just prefer housepaint to shampoo…

3. My hairdresser says this is  “Friar Tuck light.”

2. Yes, others have also called me “aerodynamic.”

…and the NUMBER ONE WORKFORCE DISCUSSION POINT NOW THAT “HAIRSTYLE DISCRIMINATION” is to BE DISCOURAGED is:

1. And if you hire me, you’ll find that cell phone reception improves in the vicinity of my skull…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Drivers’ licenses are one thing, but how how about free Priuses ?  (a worthy addendum to that ‘Green New Deal​!​’)

9. Oppose all efforts to build a border wall, which would unfairly exclude non-track & field athletes from immediate​ government benefits in the U.S.

8.   Cross the border, marry an American   (-but not the punitive, patriarchal kind of marriage so horribly typical ​in America​)​.

7.    Vote against any ​Congressional funding to create more facilities and hire ​needed​ staff for the border.

6.    Refer to all the migrants in a​n endless​ caravan of thousands as “refugees.”

5.   By all means, have a photo-op and ​a high-volume ​news conference , but never speak with​ actual​ Federal agents.

4.     Remember, this is all Trump’s fault.

3.   Free buses to El Paso, Tucson, Tempe and San Diego.   Sorry, only chilled food service available.​

2.  Sanctuary cities?  States?   We need a sanctuary nation, baby!

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY “PROGRESSIVES” ARE REALLY PROVING THEY WANT to END ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION is:

1.Have all current candidates for President support free ​care​ for illegals in America’s oppressive, inferior health care system. ​ ​ 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .