Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. “36?    Is that the temperature in Fairbanks?”

       “No sir, that’s your approval rating.”

9. “Where’s the basement?   Take me there, Jilly.”

8.  “Aren’t we makin’ any money off this video?”

7. “Did I re-record this already?”

         “Yes sir, this ‘take’ makes eighteen.”

6.    “This doesn’t look like Rehoboth.”

5.     “Fentanyl…   Fentanyl…   is she the Foreign Minister of Norway?”

4.   “This is a great house.    Isn’t that enough reason to declare again?”

3.     “RFK wants to run?   I knew him and his wife Ethel.”

2.     “We need to finish the job.       Some Americans still have savings accounts and guns.”

…and the NUMBER ONE WHISPER OVERHEARD DURING JOSEPH BIDEN’S RE-ELECTION ANNOUNCEMENT VIDEO PRODUCTION is…

1.  “The price is $400,000?  Hunter painted that one in kindergarten.”      

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.     Enjoying your Hummer?  ​Now, drive it directly into the penitentiary, where you will begin serving three-to-five.

​

9. To reduce emissions from meat production​:​ a $5 deduction for each grasshopper you buy for consumption.   Incentive raised to $10 per insect during Thanksgiving week.       ​(​When filing your tax return, please attach photos of ​all family member​ chewing and swallowing Federally-approved insects.​)​

8.  $2,000 cash if you remain seated while​ listen​ing​ to the entirety of an AOC speech on climate change.   ​(​Only three Americans have been able to accomplish this feat.​)​

7.    $500,000 tax credit and 100,000 airline miles if you can persuade John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi, Leonardo di Caprio and Al Gore to NOT fly private jets for 365 days.

6.     $100-worth of government cheese for each  week a homeowner avoids utilizing more than 10 gallons of hot water.    Feds will also provide perfume and high-test deodorant.

5.   Child care credit will be replaced with more eco-friendly Celibacy Tax Credit.

     4.  Turn up your thermostat, receive visit from an armed Elizabeth Warren.

3.      New York will introduce a “Green New Year’s Eve”​:  ​ ​All​ energy-sucking lights​ and Jumbo-trons​ in Times Square​ will be shut down.

2.   Purchase three electric vehicles you can’t afford, then receive the “XI Jin​p​ing $20,000 Federal Subsidy” and a personal thank-you call from one of his active copper or cobalt mines.

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW BIDEN POLICY to “PROD” AMERICANS TOWARD “GREEN” LIFESTYLES is…

1. For all members of Congress voting for the “Green New Deal”:  Office thermostats will be set at 50 in winter and 90 in summer.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “TRANSPHOBE”  – Pretty much anyone walking down the street.

9. “WHITE SUPREMACIST”   – Suburban parent ​of any race​ asking a question about curricula.

8. “IDENTIFY”   – Completing the partial, uninspired job your parents did.

7. “INSURRECTIONIST”   – Certain persons disrupting governmental proceedings, even if unarmed.   Not applicable in Nashville, TN or Madison, WI.

6.   “INVESTMENT”      – Taxing more to expand welfare and “green” spending.    Never applicable to pay for military or law enforcement.

5. “TERRORIST”   -Parent inquiring about assault upon teen daughter.

4.  “WOMAN”      -Who’s to say?

3.  “INFLATION”    -What inflation?   There is zero inflation.

2.   “IMMIGRANT”    – That guy emerging from the river with waterproof bags of fentanyl.

…and the NUMBER ONE VITAL 2023 GLOSSARY TERM (approved by the U.S.        

Department of Justice) is…

   1.    “FATHER”       -Symbol of patriarchy and oppression, though a fine source of cash.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.   Joseph actually considers Delaware to be a backwater, as bad as Scranton.

9. During family meetings, curtains are drawn and Biden men go shirtless and smoke cigarettes provided by lobbyists.

8.   In a pinch, you can get the Chinese to pay you with Venmo.

7. Fentanyl costs less per ounce in Kent County, Delaware than in Chester County, Pennsylvania, and the cartel guys are friendlier.

6.   There is no personal rush like speeding in reverse with an illegal pistol in your waistband.

5.   On Air Force One, there is a small bathroom where crack cocaine can always be found.

4.   “Cornpop” is actually an older cleaning lady for the Rehoboth mansion.

3.  “Climate justice” is fine for Kerry, Gore and DiCaprio, but….​

2.  For a romantic weekend, it’s tough to beat the Trump International Hotel.

…and the NUMBER ONE LATEST REVELATION from the LAPTOP is…

1.  Three paintings sold by Hunter for a total of $390,000 were actually painted by a Labrador retriever.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .