Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. “​On ​Fetterman​, On​ Warnock”  —  Chuck Schumer can’t believe he has a majority

    9. “Cuomo the Fake News Reindeer”   —  despite 2022, yet another “news” channel hands him a big payday anchor job 

8. “I’ve Got This Jan. 6th Report to Keep me Warm”  – a former president considers a bonfire

7. “Rockin’ Around the National Debt” – $32 trillion in ​arrear​s means coal-in-the- stocking for future Christmas taxpayers.

6. “I’m Dreaming of a White Supremacist”  —  The White House Press Corps Chorale

5. “All I Want for Christmas is ​Gas​“  –  ​Former European BFFs of Vladimir

       4.  “Signatures”  – ​petition-gatherers ​s​i​ng to the melody of “Silver Bells”

3.   “Ballots Roasting O’er an Open Fire”   –  ​our Christmas prayer: ​one person, one vote                                                                             

2.  “Silent Night” –  Mainstream media fails to report on the gargantuan scandal of FBI leaders promoting falsehoods worldwide through their allies at Twitter

…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY SONG WE’D LIKE to HEAR is… 

1.   “We Three Kings” –  gifts from wealthy influence-seekers in China, Russia and Ukraine arrive to warm the hearts of  “the Big Guy” and all Bidens      

    “Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.   To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

   While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

   To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

                                                                 

10. For ​White House press secretary Kar​ine Jean- Pierre—    some believable material

9. For Harvey Weinstein —   a nice, long prison term in an all-male facility

8. For Brittney Griner  —  voice lessons for her first solo performance of the Star Spangled Banner at a WNBA game

7. For  Michael Avenatti — a complete collection of Donald J. Trump “superhero” trading cards 

(​exchang​able for cigarettes in prison)

6. For Kamala   —   a special GPS that never strays from the Rio Grande River region

5. For Joseph Biden   —   a promise from Hunter to enter the seminary

4. For Brian Stelter & Chris Cuomo — new “gigs” co-anchoring the evening “news” in Pyong Yang, North Korea​  (will work for food?)​

3. For Gavin Newsom & Kathy Hochul  — an endless caravan of rich people willing to be taxed ​ruth​lessly

2. For DHS Secretary Alejandro Majorkas —  a well-honed poker face for those moments when you simply have to lie to Congress

….and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS OR HANUKKAH GIFT FOR a  CELEBRITY is…. 

     1.  For Chuck Schumer – a wind-powered, portable microphones-and-cameras set that will follow him anywhere

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HANUKKAH from “YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST!”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

  For the uninitiated who want to sing this version around their Christmas tree (also approved for Hanukkah celebrations), here is how the traditional “12 Days” is sung:  You sing each of the song’s 12 lines, in ascending numerical order.   But then you only repeat the “gifts” already received.  

For example:  Start the song with “On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a partridge in a pear tree.”  But here is how your verse would sound in mid-song:  “On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: six geese-a-laying, five go-o-o-ld rings, four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

 Try that format with today’s creation, below.  Note that singers are expected to dra-a-ag out the syllables on the gift of the “5th Day of Christmas,”in this case “Fi-i-ve Schiff collusions.”    

Now:   Your NEW 12 Days of Christmas….

1. On the first day of Christmas, my true love game to me:

         “Cash for the Big Guy from Xi.”   (JEE)

2. On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          “Two Cuomos groping.”

3. On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

        ” Three nudists with hammers.”

4.  On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

          “Four million migrants.”

5.   On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            “F-i-i-i-ve Schiff collusions.”

6.  On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

             “Six Omar rantings.”

7.   On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

            “Seven million loans ‘forgiven.'”

8.  On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

           “Eight spies for Swalwell.”

9.    On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

              “Nine percent inflation.”

10.  On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

                  “Ten mics for Schumer”

11.    On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

                  “Eleven fake newspapers.”

12.   On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:

                   “12 million mail votes.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” (and this week’s “Twelve Days”)   is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

  10.  “Feliz Navidad from 35,000 feet above the Rio Grande River.”               – Kamala Harris

    9. “THEY wish THEM a pleasant and secular December.”–   Biden HHS Assistant Secretary “Admiral” “Rachel” Levine and Energy Dept. Deputy Assistant Secretary “Sam” Brinton   (yes, you should search for the photos….) 

   8. “The university proudly announces new ‘Safe Spaces’ for students celebrating the Winter Solstice.”  – University Vice President for Safety, Equity, Diversity, Sustainability and Mumbo-Jumbo.”

   7. “T’is always the season to reach out and touch someone.”    – Harvey Weinstein

   6. “I wish you an early Meli Kalikimaka, before climate change floods my state.”     -US Sen. Maisie Hirono (D- Hawaii)

   5.”We wish you a holiday filled with equity, prior to climate change submerging our beloved Martha’s Vineyard.” – Barack and Michelle

   4. “With the optimism of the festival of lights, it’s only right to hope for revolution in Teheran.”          -Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, writing from the Trump Heights

   3.  “If you can just believe in Frosty the Snowman… you can believe our southern border is secure.”            – Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Majorkas

    2. “This St. Patrick’s day, let us build back better.”                -Joseph & Dr. Jill Biden

…and the NUMBER ONE HOLIDAY CARD INSCRIPTION is…

1. “You’d better not tweet…      You’re not the Deep State…    Why chance it right now…     With ruin your fate?”          – Elon (written prior to his big purchase)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .