Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.  $850 million for the printing of 150 million mail-in ballots for all “residents” of Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, Wisconsin, Michigan, Nevada and New Hampshire.

 9.  $3.2 billion in “therapeutic counseling” for those (anticipating 2022) experiencing anxiety and panic in blue states and cities.

 8.  $7.8 billion in private jet rentals for Climate Czar John Kerry and EPA officials traveling to necessary conferences to combat climate change.

 7.  $80,000 for purchases of Red Bull and No-Doz for the White House.

 6.  $745 billion for replacement of all bridges on the Mississippi River.     New structures will accommodate pedestrians, electric cars and bicycles.

 5.   Voice-vote rider:     Henceforth, all transgender recruits in the Armed Services will enter with the rank of “major.”

 4.  To “help America vote,” $567 billion for state-of-the-art Chinese vote-tabulating software.

 3. $7.2 billion for Federal electric vehicle charging stations in Guam and U.S. Samoa.

 2.   $4.1 billion to create a government cable/ satellite TV channel devoted to 24/7 “white fragility” training.

…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN PROVISION in Ms. PELOSI’S MEGA $3.5 TRILLION “INFRASTRUCTURE” BILL is:

 1.   $1.1 trillion so each American can select among free rent, free college or free day care.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  “When Kamala’s cackling, she’s cackling for YOU.”

 9. “Biden, Pelosi, Schumer:   Fresh New Ideas for the Digital Economy”

 8. “Finally, a World at Peace.”

 7.  “There’s More to Congressman Eric Swallwell than Just Ms. Fang-Fang.”

 6.  “What Hostages?”

 5. “DeBlasio for Governor.  Proven Results in De-funding Cops.”

 4.  “Vote and Check for Your Direct Deposit.”

 3. “This Era of ‘Low’ Taxes is Over, Man.”

 2. “Don’t Recall Governor Gavin Newsom:  Keep California Moving.”

…and the TOP TRIAL TV AD SLOGAN for the 2022 DEMOCRATS is:

1.   “Make America Like Portland.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.   Check with Mom to see if pull-out sofa is free tomorrow night

 9.   See if I can finagle a no-show, 6-figure job at the Port Authority.   Who would notice?

 8.  Procure phone number of that other cute State Trooper

 7.   Buy lots of acreage ​along the Pennsylvania border​, then, at midnight: lift my ban on fracking.

 6.  Figure out schedule with brother Chris about standing guard at ​my​​ green “Mario M. Cuomo Bridge”​ highway signs.​

 5.   Change my Match.com moniker to “StillYoLuvGov.”

 4.   Do Kathy Hochul some solids: Remove Hugh Hefner’s water bed from mansion, then suspend state income tax collections

 3.   Requisition the state airplane once last time, then ​drop​ water balloons ​on Mayor DeBlasio’s Gracie Mansion.

 2.  Draft ​yet more​ “volunteers” from state government to write my new book:   “​ Groping and Official Business: Pitfalls and Opportunities “

…and the NUMBER ONE ANDREW CUOMO “TO DO” LIST ITEM for AUGUST 23rd is…

1.  Get those official “New York Governor” golf shirts back from mansion laundry​. Then, post on E-Bay.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Get “objective” CNN anchor to conduct a “hard hitting” interview with him

 9.  When appearing with females at public events, wear catchers’ mitts on both hands

 8.  Reveal plan to abolish NY state income tax by 2024   (How did this crazy idea slip in here?)

 7.  During marshal arts cage match, get Mayor DeBlasio to cry “uncle” during headlock

 6.  Offer Assembly Speaker Carl Heastie 24/7 use of the Governor’s state airplane

 5.  Point out that if impeached & convicted, he would instantly become homeless and remain on the state payroll

 4.  Claim that he’s turned over a new leaf, then appear in a male burka

 3.  Get taxpayer-funded Governor’s staff to begin ghostwriting his next book:    You Too Can Become an Irresistable Albany Bachelor

 2.  Quickly produce supportive TV ads from Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby and Gov. Ralph Northam

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY THAT Governor ANDREW CUOMO MIGHT REMAIN in OFFICE is:

1.  Come out as a female in transition.  “Andrea” would make sense.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “This economy sure is robust, ain’t it?”

 9. “As a matter of fact, that latte IS worth $11.”

 8. “What’s a little temporary blip among millions?”

 7. “This administration does not believe in wage or price controls”

 6. “Gas prices?  Why aren’t you driving electric?”

 5.  “Let’s talk about that possible national mask mandate.”

 4.  “Prices are certainly healthy.”

 3.  “That’s just another dog whistle from supremacists.”

 2.  “Even as we speak, we’re searching the White House for some old “WIN”  (Whip Inflation Now) buttons from the 1970s.”

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY the WHITE HOUSE AVOIDS SAYING “INFLATION” is…

1. “If a mojito costs $19 at the Hay-Adams, switch to a Bud at the 7-11.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .