Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. Hillary Clinton in full-length mink… dossier in hand.

9. (Less-is-more) Russian President Vladimir Putin rides shirtless on horseback (see #8).

8. Robert Mueller and Charles Schumer share that 2-man “horse suit” (with Vladimir logo).

7. Kim Jong-un wears Chicago Bulls road uniform… and platform sneakers.

6. Former President Obama in a white medical coat with stethoscope. (Repeating “You can keep your doctor” mantra.)

5. Extra-tall Dracula: Mayor Bill DeBlasio with custom fangs to suck taxpayers dry,

4. Harvey Weinstein rolls out his new “bathrobe-and-chastity-belt” wardrobe combo-creation.

3. This is too easy:   Nancy Pelosi dresses as that obvious character from the Wizard of Oz.

2. Bill Clinton as an ascetic Hare Krishna monk.

…and the Number One most scary Halloween costume this year is:

1. Colin Kaepernick as Captain America.

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10.    TRUMP ADMINISTRATION DEDICATES RECORD RELIEF EXPENDITURES FOR PUERTO RICO

 9.     ADVOCATES AGREE THAT OBAMA EDICT TO COVER “D.A.C.A.” RESIDENTS WAS UNCONSTITUTIONAL

 8.     SPEAKER RYAN WOWS CATHOLIC ELITE WITH HUMOR AT AL SMITH DINNER;  DeBLASIO, CUOMO BOOED

 7.    U. S. RHETORIC and MANEUVERS FORCING NORTH KOREAN TO RE-CONSIDER BELLICOSITY

 6.   COUNTRY-WESTERN LISTENERS FOUND TO BE MORE CHARITABLE AND LAW ABIDING THAN U.S. AS A WHOLE

 5.   CLINTON ACTIONS RELATED TO URANIUM-TO-RUSSIA DEAL APPEAR TO MEET LEGAL DEFINITION OF BRIBERY

  4.   TRUMP TAX CUTS PROJECTED TO INCREASE REVENUES, CONTRARY TO EARLY CBO MODEL PROJECTION

  3.  MULTIPLE WOMEN THWARTED VIOLENT ATTACKS WITH PERSONAL FIREARMS TODAY

 2.  ALLEGATIONS PERSIST THAT TAXPAYERS UNDERWROTE PELOSI’S FACELIFTS, SCHUMER’S HAIR PLUGS

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE YOU WON’T GET from MAINSTREAM NEWS ORGANIZATIONS THIS WEEK is:

  1.  TRUMP PRAISED FOR SENSITIVITY AND RESTRAINT IN REFUSING TO COMMENT ON CONGRESSWOMAN’S CHOICE OF HATS

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 10.   Get Governor Spitzer on the phone, right away.

   9.   Wow, there really is an actual casting couch?

   8.  Once Hillary gets elected, I am home free.    (She’ll tolerate anything !)

    7.   You sure own a lot of bathrobes, mister.

     6.    Sure, send Rahm 50 grand for his re-election.

    5,    I was voted “most likely to become a stalker.”​  And that was in grade school.​

    4.   So you’re telling me that I am creepy, but Bill Clinton is still Mr. Wonderful?

    3.  You just don’t have my charming ways.

​    2.   No, not SCHOOL choice, dummy….    abortion choice!    We’re all feminists here, aren’t we ?

… and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD IN RECENT YEARS at the WEINSTEIN COMPANY OFFICES is:

​   1.     You won’t even consider a movie about a sleazy, creepy, grizzled liberal movie producer who uses his power to coerce young women?

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please log on to  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes, and submit.   While on the site, you can scroll back to catch up on previous “Top Ten’s” from 2016 and 2017.

10.    Watch me stick it to those evil Carriage Horses!

  9.    All Confederate statues in NYC have been removed!

   8.   Special this month for “the rich”: Move to NYC, pay only 16% NY income tax rates.

   7.   In 2nd term, I will morph into gender-ambiguous “Billie.”

   6.    New LED announcements in subways:  “M Train to Metropolitan Avenue,  11 minutes,” and “Next Shake Down on this Platform in 7 minutes”

   5.    New City “Lost & Found” Office for vehicles disappearing in pot holes

    4.   Vote Bill — Get Premium Bed in Shelter

    3.     Support DeBlasio :  87% approval rating in Havana !

    2.    Christopher Columbus statues to be re-chiseled into Che Guevara and Daniel Ortega monuments

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW “HOME STRETCH” SLOGAN for the “RE-ELECT MAYOR DeBLASIO” CAMPAIGN is:

    1.    Sanctuary for all !!    — except you pesky “wealthy” taxpayers!!

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten” list, please log on to  www.gipperten.com  .    Then, complete the “subscribe”boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens’ from 2016 and 2017 by scrolling back.   Enjoy !

10.   Visit the North Korean National Zoo before all residents are eaten.

 9.    Tourist chances for torture now under 20%.

  8.   Dunk basketball, meet Supreme Leader.

  7.  Stay 3 nights, get one free at Korea Bay “Sandals.”

  6.  Smoking is to be encouraged.

   5.  Fly to Pyong Yang, earn free stopover in Guam.

  4.   Honeymoon in a romantic missile silo! 

  3.   ​Our​ new “Surf & Turf” —   Dog meat and Fish heads.

  2.       ​The Yalu River Extreme Weight Loss Spa Week.

​                                     Voted #1 on the peninsula.​  Mention this ad, receive extra gruel.

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW SLOGAN to PROMOTE “NORTH KOREA TOURISM” is :

  1.   Lots more toilet paper than Venezuela!

To subscribe to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list” for free, please visit   www.gipperten.com  .     Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can scroll back to catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016 and 2017.    Enjoy !

10.  Visit the North Korean National Zoo before all residents are eaten.

  9.   Tourist chances for torture now under 20%.

  8.  Dunk basketball, meet Supreme Leader.

   7.  Stay 3 nights, get one free at Korea Bay “Sandals.”

   6.   Smoking is to be encouraged.

   5.    Fly to Pyong Yang, earn free stopover in Guam.

   4.  Honeymoon in a romantic missile silo!  (25% discount if “launch alarm” is heard.)

    3.  ​Our​ new “Surf & Turf” —   Dog meat and Fish heads.

   2.    ​The Yalu River Extreme Weight Loss Spa Week.    ​ Voted #1 on the peninsula.​  Mention this ad, receive extra gruel.

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW SLOGAN to PROMOTE “NORTH KOREA TOURISM” is:

    1.    Lots more toilet paper than Venezuela!

To subscribe to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .      Complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens’ from 2016 and 2017.   Enjoy !