Your Weekly American Top Ten List

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10.   Thanks to Bidenflation, 41% of U.S. heads-of-households are considering a dinner of “mashed potatoes in the shape of a turkey.”

9.  On Wednesday, the President might not grant clemency to a traditional large bird…      but instead, he’ll pardon Hunter.

8.  Congressional “Squad” will declare that “Black Friday” sales are arranged only for the benefit of capitalist predators.

7.  New York Times editorial headline to read:  “GRATITUDE… FOR WHAT?’

6.     Anonymous White House aides planning to rename: the “White House Winter Solstice Tree“ and the “National Cold Weather Candelabra”   (formerly the White House menorah…)

5.    At the President’s “surprise” (everything is a surprise nowadays) 80th birthday party, Nancy Pelosi to show up to sing her version of “Santa, Baby!”

4.    At the southern border, Democrat office-holders to greet Thursday’s migrant arrivals with plates of taxpayer-supplied turkey, gift shoes and free tuition vouchers….   .

3.   Outraged that the classic movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” is being televised every day, a TV critic sees “the hand of white supremacy.”

2.   In Qatar, government officials have promised that same-sex couples attending the World Cup this week “will not be arrested” until the quarter-finals.

…and the NUMBER ONE UNEXPECTED HAPPENING this THANKSGIVING 2022 is….

 1.At the annual Thanksgiving Parade down Broadway, the huge “Kamala Harris balloon” will be positioned between the “Snoopy the Aviator balloon” and the “juggling Santas.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.      47% OF FETTERMAN for U.S. SENATE SUPPORTERS HAVE NEVER SEEN “THE ADDAMS FAMILY” ON TV

 9. ​ ​ OF THOSE SURVEYED, 9​6​% OF AMERICAN VOTERS SUPPORT “EQUITY”

 8.   9​7​% OF AMERICANS COULD ​“​NOT DEFINE​“​ EQUITY

 7.   38% OF SAN FRANCISCANS SURVEYED BELIEVE THAT ASSAULT CHARGES SHOULD BE INCREASED WHEN YOUR ATTACKER IS A NUDIST

 6.   3% OF NANCY PELOSI VOTERS SUSPECT THAT SHE WAS THE NUDIST WHO ATTACKED PAUL PELOSI

 5.    12% OF WISCONSINITES BELIEVE THAT LT. GOVERNOR MANDELA BARNES WAS PREVIOUSLY THE  PRESIDENT OF SOUTH AFRICA

 4.     3% OF FLORIDIANS VOTED FOR GOV. DeSANTIS BECAUSE HIS MIDDLE NAME IS “DION”

 3.     ​43% OF ​A.O.C. VOTERS ADMIT THAT THEY “LOVE FREE STUFF” FROM THE GOVERNMENT

 2.      2% OF “LATE VOTING DEMOCRATS” FAVOR AN IMMEDIATE U.S. WITHDRAWAL FROM VIETNAM

…and the NUMBER ONE SURPRISING RESULT from EXIT POLLS on ELECTION DAY was…

 1.    AMONG LEGAL MARIJUANA ADVOCATES, 7% WANT RUSSIA TO STOP ATTACKING “THE YUKON”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.    Kim Jong-un as LeBron James

 9.     Sen. Maggie Hassan as “Angry Hillary”

 8.    Joseph Biden as Lenny (“Of Mice and Men”)

 7.    Gov. Kathy Hochul as the ghost of Bella Abzug

 6.    Bernie Sanders as HBO’s Larry David

 5.    Kamala Harris, cackling, with broom

 4.    Charlie Crist as Benedict Arnold

 3.   Gavin Newsom as “High-Tax Dracula”    

2.   Chuck Schumer & Governor J.B. Pritzker in that not-too-convincing horse suit

…and the NUMBER ONE HALLOWEEN COSTUME SOMEONE HAS BEEN WEARING a BIT TOO LONG is:

1.   John Fetterman as Uncle Fester

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2022 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .