Your Weekly American Top Ten List

​10.​  Madam V​ice ​P​resident​,​ ​there​’s​ really ​no​ need to visit the border​, is there​?
​  9. ​OK, Mr. President.   We know your ice cream ​flavor ​choice, but…    sprinkles or hot fudge?
  8. Under your “Stimulus” plan,  could the existing miles of Keystone Pipeline convert to mass transit ​use ?
​  7. ​ Madam Press Secretary, ​are those designer ​earrings you are wearing?   
  6.  ​Mr. Biden, with respect, C​ritical ​R​ace ​Theory “training” is certainly infrastructure, isn’t it?
​ 5. ​ Who wrote Kamala’s knee slapping jokes for the Annapolis graduation?​   Really hilarious.​
​ 4.​  Sir, suppose we call the southern border a “​boardwalk​” or a “promenade” to the US?
​ 3.  ​Mr. President, how do you stay so sharp and youthful?
​  2. ​ How is the food on Air Force ​1​ these days?

…and the NUMBER ONE HARD-HITTING QUESTION from the WHITE HOUSE PRESS CORPS this WEEK is:

​  1.  ​Joe, when you meet with Vladimir next month, will Hunter be along for a piece of Nord Stream 2?

(Just kidding, no one in today’s White House Press Corps would ask an actual, inquisitive question like this…..)

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Unknown airborne craft in US Navy’s Norfolk air space merely waiting for takeout crabcake orders.

 9.   During his supposed nightly Amtrak commutes to Delaware while in the US Senate, Joseph Biden was actually transported by “progressives” from Neptune.

 8.   Producer Michael Moore wears large baseball hats in order to conceal a disturbing conehead.

 7.  Body of alien recovered from Roswell, N.M. in 1947 found to have counterfeit Food Stamps on his person.

 6. Slow moving flying craft near New York State Fair sponsored by “Re-elect Chuck Schumer” campaign.

5.   UFO crash reveals thousands of frozen vegetarian lasagna meals intended for JFK-LAX flights.

 4.  Intergalactic spokesmodel says his leader felt “obligated to shuttle Congresspersons Ocasio, Tlaib, Omar, Swallwell, Pressley, Nadler and Bowman back home” to the planet Remulac.

 3.  As a gesture of friendship, alien males make sure to wear Biden-style hair plugs.

 2.  Interplanetary visitors “de-saucer” and request “take me to your leader.”  They were whisked directly to Kamala.

…and the NUMBER ONE ADVANCE REVELATION from the GOVERNMENT’S COMING RELEASE of U.F.O. FILES is:

 1.   You were correct—   US Senator Mazie Hirono is not of this earth.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

8:30 – 9:15AM   – Phone call with Al Sharpton for scholarly briefing on Critical Race Theory

9:30 -10:15AM        – Snack and warm milk.   Recharge time.

10:30 – 11:00AM   –   Private Meeting with Hunter to check on Biden interests in Ukraine, Red China and Russia.

12 Noon – 2:00PM  –  Lunch with Teachers’ Union executives.   Bring trusty Hopalong Cassidy lunch box to NEA headquarters.

2:15 – 3:00 PM  – Briefing from Acting OMB Director Shalonda Young regarding plans for new “stimulus” checks.  President is requesting explanation on the difference between “trillions” and “gazillions.” 

3:00 – 3:30PM  Meeting with Domestic Advisor Susan Rice.   Learn more cool stuff about Biden domestic agenda, receive talking points.

3:45 – 4:15PM    – Snack of Delaware corn dog, then power nap.

4:30 – 5:15PM  –  Briefing from CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky.    Ask her directly if there are ways we can keep the US economy and daily life locked down.

5:20 – 5:30PM –  Phone call with VP Kamala to see what makes more sense: visiting the Mexican border in 2023 or in our re-election year, 2024.

6:00 – 8:15PM –  Private dinner and White House screening of latest Michael Moore movie.   Invited guests: Sen. Elizabeth Warren, Sen. Bernie Sanders, Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, Jussie Smollett, Cong. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

8:30 – 9:00PM  –  Video call with Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin III to see how implementation is going on Dr. Jill’s decor changes for Air Force I.   This close to bedtime,  avoid all unpleasant foreign affairs matters.

9:15 PM –        President retires to private family quarters.    Brings DNC briefing book:   “Photo I.D. Never Matters”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  When he hears the new term “cis,” he thinks of the nun who rapped his knuckles with a yardstick in 8th grade.

 9.  Inspired by Governor Cuomo, he longs to drive a “muscle car,” even if only to the therapist.

 8.  After radical Congresswomen spoke of “birthing people,” he wondered what to call “Mother’s Day” this​ week​.

 7.  He fantasized about compet​ing​ in female college sports​… ​ but only for a moment.

 6.  Due to her bulky winter clothes, he inadvertently helped an older lady to cross an intersection.

 5.  He refused a free offer to shave “AOC” into his back hair.

 4.  He casually accepts that more men than women go into engineering, fire fighting, lion taming​, ​ Army artillery, Star Trek conventions, Pamplona bull runnings, bear tracking, plumbing, pearl diving, rodeo work,​ and​ street demonstrations in Iran​.​

  3.   While hanging a Helen Reddy poster, he wonders if it’s OK to enjoy using his power tool.

  2.   Offered a complimentary drink with a little umbrella, he opted to pay for a shot of whiskey.

… and the NUMBER ONE SIGN that SOMEONE YOU KNOW MAY be IMBUED with “TOXIC MASCULINITY” is…

  1.  He knows he has more common sense than our Vice President.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  President Biden offered to build him the “West Virginia Comprehensive Subway Authority.”

  9.  Mitch McConnell promised to extend the subway from WVa right to the Senate Hart Building.

  8.  New “Robert K. Byrd Theme Park” near Parkersburg to feature a locally familiar “alternative” to Mount Rushmore.

  7.  There’s nothing like having Chuck Schumer and Dick Durban serving you coffee and croissants on trays each morning.

  6.  As he enters the Senate chambers, John Denver tunes drown out anyone who happens to be speaking.

  5.  Post-pandemic concert tickets are being printed for the “Kennedy – Manchin Center.”

  4.  Open survey of female Senators lists him as the “most magnetically handsome” member of their institution.

  3.  Air Force 2 had previously never been used for commuting. 

  2. Jeff Bezos to order Washington Post to run daily flattering photo and “Manchin Witticism.”

…and the Number One Reason it’s Good to be Senator Joe Manchin in 2021 is:

  1.  During his visit to the House Speaker’s office, she excused herself to “slip into something more comfortable.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2021 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .