Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.   Speed Skat​ing​ south Across the 38th Parallel Border

 9.    Steroid Chugging (for Olympians not affiliated with a national team)

 8.    Nuclear ​Curling​

 7.    Luge for your Life

 6.  ​Climate Change ​Filibustering ​ (games begin when temps drop to 15 o F.)​

 5.  ​Political Prisoner biathlon ​

 4.  Parasailing​ Across the Sea of Japan​

 3.  ​Skeleton (the 800 calorie-per-day beauty contest)

 2.   Three-person “H.O.R.S.E.” with Denni​s Rodman  (non-medalists to be imprisoned)

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW OLYMPIC SPORT for the 2018 GAMES in KOREA is :

 1.  Male Head of State Ski Jumping (5’4″ height limit)

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.    While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018 by scrolling back.  Enjoy !

10.   Perez actually believes the Castro brothers.

  9.   Perez claims we have free speech: he can denounce President Trump on any street corner.    Maduro agrees:   he can denounce Trump on any Caracas street corner.

  8.  Maduro rarely sighted without epaulets, gold braid and side arm. Perez rarely sighted without Chuck Schumer

  7.  Perez is almost always able to secure toilet paper for senior DNC staff.

  6.  Perez gets fawning coverage because media actually swallow his talking points.   Maduro’s media do as they are told!

  5.  If you take a knee during your National Anthem, Perez praises you….   Maduro throws you in prison.

  4.  Maduro’s Venezuela sits atop one of the largest proven reserves of petroleum in the world.    Perez’s Committee is one of the largest sources of hot air in the world.

  3.  Even Maduro now knows “the problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money.”

  2.  Perez’s DNC tolerates no expressions of pro-life sentiment.  Even Maduro’s Venezuelan Socialist Party doesn’t go that far!

…and the NUMBER ONE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DNC CHAIRMAN TOM PEREZ and VENEZUELA’S COMMMANDANTE NICOLAS MADURO is:

  1,   Maduro believes in requiring verifiable photo IDs for voting.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” by scrolling back through 2016, 2017 and 2018 postings.    Enjoy!

10. Nancy Pelosi Questions Immigration Policy Being Led by White Males

9. Trump Removal of Excessive Regulations Sparked Stock Market Boom

8. Sources Inside North Korea Confirm that Kim is “Really Scared” of President

7. False Threat of Missile Attack on Hawaii Caused by Speed Dial Error​ while US Sen. Schatz’s staff was​ Ordering Take-Out

6. Democrats Believe They can Achieve DACA Legalization​ without Negotiations

5. Anonymous Senate Democrats Anger at Trump Fueled by Spurned Romantic Overtures

4. Former President Obama Watches Sean Hannity Each Evening Before Retiring

3. ​Trump Decision on Jerusalem has yet to Trigger Unrest

2. New Corporate Tax Rates Generate Interest in Move to the U.S. from Mercedes, SONY, Airbus, Guinness, Novartis, and Kia

… and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE YOU WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK is:

1.  ​​“All Women Need to be Heard,” Unless They Accuse former President Clinton​

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018.    Enjoy!

10.   For just $25, you can have tea and hear Hillary read from What Happened every weekday at 2pm.

  9.    I’m on auto-pay.  The foundation website says “error” when I click “don’t renew.”

  8.   Saudi government ​still committed to its matching gift program.

  7.   As a patriot, could you even imagine the Clintons flying economy?

  6.   For $100 and the cost of drinks and “tips,” you can “cruise” the Gentlemen’s Clubs of Manhattan with Bill.

  5.   At the Clinton Thrift Shop in Chappaqua, any donation gets you 25% off on used Hill pants suits and Bill jogging shorts.

  4.  Give $5,000, hear webinar on “How to Really Scrub your E-mail hard drives with acid wash.”

  3.   Your gift means the Foundation can buy that one-inch carpeting, and avoid that Arkansas indoor-outdoor stuff.

  2.  This year, we’ll be serious about women’s rights in the middle east.  We promise.

…and the NUMBER ONE REASON for DONATING to the CLINTON FOUNDATION in 2018 is:

   1.   ​ We heard you.    No more salaries above $700,000 a year.​

PS:  Sorry, donor access to White House Lincoln bedroom suspended until at least January 2021.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016, 2017 and 2018 by scrolling back.  Enjoy!