TOP TEN SURPRISING NEW WINTER OLYMPIC SPORTS for 2018 GAMES in KOREA (North Korea is “cooperating” with the Olympic games in the South) :



10.   Speed Skating south Across the 38th Parallel Border


 9.    Steroid Chugging (for Olympians not affiliated with a national team)


 8.    Nuclear Curling


 7.    Luge for your Life


 6.  Climate Change Filibustering  (games begin when temps drop to 15 o F.)


 5.  Political Prisoner biathlon


 4.  Parasailing Across the Sea of Japan


 3.  Skeleton (the 800 calorie-per-day beauty contest)


 2.   Three-person “H.O.R.S.E.” with Dennis Rodman  (non-medalists to be imprisoned)


…and the NUMBER ONE NEW OLYMPIC SPORT for the 2018 GAMES in KOREA is :


 1.  Male Head of State Ski Jumping (5’4″ height limit)




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