Your Weekly American Top Ten List

      10.   Anti-Israel Triathlon  (even U.S. Senators may compete, calling for “regime change” in the Jewish state, while rapidly repositioning themselves for cameras and microphones).

9. Synchronized Political Prosecutions   (competitions to be hosted in New York City, Atlanta and Washington, D.C.)

8. Speed Skating Across the Russian Border  (an all-weather, winter & summer Olympic event).

7. Combined Women’s / Transgender Powerlifting

6. Trampoline Acrobatics   (all participants will receive Ivy League university credits and ​student loan “forgiveness”).

5. High Wire Competitive Ballet  (executives seeking re-election try to persuade innocent voters that they celebrated both Passover and Ramadan this spring).

4.  No-Bail, No-Prosecution Looting  (Judges may award bonus points for verifiable acts of arson).

3.  Open-Water Swim  (Competition held in the Rio Grande River.   Medalists awarded three-year billeting at NY’s Roosevelt Hotel.​   All swimmers receive guaranteed income, immediate voting rights & American-made, “sustainable” motor vehicles.).

2. “​Defying Police While Occupy​ing to Support H​amas Genocide”    (Similar to bullriding, pro-murder “protesters” seek to ​physically defy arrest by police for as long a duration as possible).

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW OLYMPIC SPORTING EVENT BEING REQUESTED by the BIDEN ADMINISTRATION is….

1. Power Grifting   (competitions to be hosted by Red China, Russia, Ukraine and Qatar.  Medal ceremony in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware).

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

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​10.  NPR FINALLY SUSPENDS RIGHT-WING INGRATE​  –  New York Town Crier

​  9.  A VIBRANT PRESIDENT BOUND​S FROM ​THE STAGE WITH NO​ VISIBLE ASSISTANCE​   

                                                                           -Rehoboth Penny Saver

​  8.  IF ELECTED SPEAKER, MARJORIE T. GREENE PLEDGES TO NEVER WEAR THE WHITE CHICKEN SUIT IN PUBLIC

– Alpharetta Constitution

​  7.  DURING WAVE OF SHOCKING ANTI-SEMITISM, NPR CEO REFOCUSES NEWS COVERAGE ON “TRANSPHOBIA”

– Borough Park Bugle

​   6.  MR. BIDEN PROMISES SON THAT ANY NEW “WEALTH TAX” WILL NOT IMPACT FAMILY INFLUENCE-PEDDLING INCOME​   

– Investor’s Quarterly

​   5.  LIBERAL NPR EDITOR SAYS HIS PEERS INCLUDE 87 DEMOCRATS AND ZERO REPUBLICANS.  CEO RESPONDS: “AND YOUR POINT?”​ 

                                           – Milwaukee Times-Picayune

​   4.  VICE PRESIDENT SAID TO ASK ABOUT PROXIMITY OF TEHERAN TO THE SOUTHERN BORDER  – New Braunfels Evening News

3. UNKNOWN TO MOST NEW YORKERS, SENATOR GILLIBRAND STILL LEADING IN POLLS FOR RE-ELECTION​   – Plattsburgh Freeman

​    2.  BREAKING: CONSPIRACY THEORISTS SEE “IDENTITY POLITICS,” AS PRESIDENT SWITCHES FROM CHOCOLATE CHIP TO TUTTI FRUTTI ICE CREAM

– Burlington Gazette and Intelligencer

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE READING THIS WEEK is…

1. GOVERNOR HOCHUL SIGNS STATE BUDGET OF $237 BILLION TO SERVE 19.5 MILLION NEW YORKERS.     FLORIDA TO S​PEND JUST $117 BILLION​ FOR 23 MILLION PEOPLE.     – Roosevelt Island Recorder

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2024 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

    ​10.  In some states, get ready to stand behind new migrants to cast your vote. Remember, “no one is illegal.”

       9.  Egg prices have doubled in just 30-odd months-of-Biden.  Better scramble.

8.   Planning that family vay-cay?   Gas costs 50% more now.  Maybe switch to a movie and an ice cream cone.

7.  School counselors are convincing your son Bubba that he’s really a Cynthia.

6.   CNN is telling you that “another young man has been killed by the police.”   (Reality: the decedent first emptied his 11 shot-pistol AT the police).

5.   Quick!  Begin saving for that high-ticket electric car Biden and his EPA are foisting on you.

4.  You may need help explaining to your third-grader that her share of our national debt is $83,000.

3.  Congratulations!  Your Biden White House now considers you “rich.”    Now, pay your “fair share” in taxes.

2.  Heading to the NY Times best-sellers list:  Squatting.The New Affordable Housing. 

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY THAT “PROGRESSIVES” are SAYING “WELCOME to SPRINGTIME” is…

1. ​ Ladies:  In your locker room, that really is a naked man leering at you.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2024 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

​10.   (Call at 12 noon to the presidential palace in Paris)  “Sorry I’m late, may I call you Bibi?”

​ 9.    “Are you close enough to deliver chocolate chip ice cream?”

​ 8.     “You mean you are VLADIMIR, and not Volod​ymyr… in Kyiv?   So, how’s the weather in Moscow today?”

​ 7.    “Jilly?  Jill?   Am I in Wilmington, Rehoboth or what?”

​ 6.    “​Second Gentleman Emhoff, can you help ​focus Kamala on the border?”

​ 5.    “Hey Hunter, would-ya please call that lady is Moscow again?    Ask for another three-mil.”

  4.  “The price of gas is still under a dollar, ain’t it, Jim?”

  3.   “Hold on!   You sayin’ there could be ANOTHER laptop out there?    Quick, can we blame the Russians again?”

  2.  “I’m tellin’ ya, Rachel.    Corn Pop is real, but Tony Bobulinsky is not.”

…and the NUMBER ONE PHONE CALL EMANATING from the WHITE HOUSE THIS WEEK, as INTERCEPTED by FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS is:

  1. “Nah, “paying my fair doesn’t apply to cash from overseas.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2024 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  “You really had a balanced budget?”  “Yeah, but Newt handed it to me.”

9. “We-e-ll, doagies, d’jou see that blonde in the 3rd row?”     

                 “This is New York, Bill.  ‘He’s’ a transgender.”

8.   “Really?     The man is younger than Jimmy Carter?”

7. “Q:  “$100,000 for this?”   

             A: “You never heard of Bidenflation?”

6. “I know I’m a bit older, but I like those songs by LizzY.”

5.  “Barack, what is the difference between a trillion and a gazillion?

4.   ” And today, just spittin’ distance from St. Patrick’s Cathedral, I’m proud to announce that ‘Trans Appreciation Day’ will coincide with Easter Sunday.”

3. “You can’t run, you can’t hide. We charge you with gen-o-cide.”  (Screaming directed at Radio City’s turnstile operators).

2.  “Is that a rechargeable cattle prod Hillary is carrying?”

….and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at the BIDEN-OBAMA-CLINTON FUNDRAISER that RAISED $26 MILLION in NYC was:

1. “No, sir, this is Radio City, not the Ramada Wilmington.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2024 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .