Your Weekly American Top Ten List

​10.​ “The cash from China actually went to ​‘​Dr.​‘​ Jill, not to Joseph.”

​ 9.​ “At least nobody’s said anything about those photos Hunter has on the computer.”

​  8. ​“Kamala didn’t really mean ‘the riots will continue.'”

​  7. ​“Joseph is asking if he can monetize fracking in his own basement.  Then, he will reveal his position on fracking after the election.”

​ 6. ​ ” Whaddya mean, no experience?”

​ 5. ​  “What the Pope meant to say is….”

 4.   “Senator Harris did not intend to bail out looters in Minneapolis.  She intended to buy a gift card at Hooters in St. Paul.”

 3.  “The former Vice President firmly believes that if you like your Ukrainian energy company, you can keep your Ukrainian energy company.”

 2. “After careful consideration,  I really have no objection to a Catholic being a judge.”

…and the NUMBER ONE “REQUIRED” LATE OCTOBER EXPLANATION is:

 1.  “Mr. Biden has a plan where all the jobs lost in oil & gas will be replaced by new positions installing the wind turbines we are building.  Now, the job might be in a different time zone.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.  Mr. Vice President:   Right now, would you prefer a 3-minute massage from me, or four more warm, softball questions in a row?

 9.  Candidates:  If elected, which of your family members would be discouraged from making deals with foreign governments?

 8. Candidates:  Quickly now, what is your best guess as to how many more Americans would have died without the bans on travel from China and Europe?

 7. Candidates: will you commit right now to donating your presidential salary to charity?

 6.  Gentlemen, should Twitter and Facebook allow posts from the Iranian government, while censoring investigative reports from the New York Post and other American news organizations?

 5,  Mr. Vice President, are the police still the “enemy” in your mind?

 4. Mr. President:   What looks better to you at this moment, more questions on white supremacy, masks and your taxes, or a shot to the knee​cap ​from a low-caliber pistol?

 3. Hey Mr. Biden: more than once, you said you’d like to take the President “behind the gym.”  Whadda ya say right here and now, tough guy?

 2.  Sirs, the US Supreme Court has operated with nine justices for 150 years.  Should that number be expanded?​  Please answer in one sentence, prior to the election.​

…and the NUMBER ONE “LIGHTNING ROUND” QUESTION AMERICANS WANT to HEAR from the MODERATOR in the FINAL DEBATE is:

1. Mr. President, you moved from New York to Florida, primarily for tax reasons.  Mr. Vice President, your friend Andrew is Governor of New York.   If your Federal tax plan is enacted​, successful people in New York, California and New Jersey  will pay more than 60% in income taxes.   Is that what you consider “their fair share?”   Yes or no, from both of you, please…

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2020 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  HILLARY CLINTON E-MAILS REVEAL AS MANY AS 40 LIKELY FELONIES COMMITTED BY FORMER SECRETARY

 9.  PLOT TO KIDNAP MICHIGAN GOVERNOR ​LED BY​ ANTI-TRUMP ZEALOTS

 8.  CHINA’S XI OPENLY EXPRESSES SUPPORT FOR DEMOCRATIC NOMINEES, WONT COMMENT ON INVOLVEMENT IN U.S. ELECTIONS

 7.  JUDGE BARRETT NOW EXPECTED TO LOSE SOME SENATE​ DEMOCRAT​ VOTES FOR BEING “TOO BORING”

 6. SPEAKER PELOSI UNABLE TO​ RECITE HOUSE RULES ​FOR​ REMOV​ING​ A SPEAKER WHO IS “UNABLE TO EXECUTE” HER ​DUTIES​

 5.  BIDEN WILL ANNOUNCE HIS POSITION ON NUDE ADS FEATURING HOLLYWOOD SUPPORTERS “AFTER THE ELECTION”

 4.  SENATOR HARRIS OVERHEARD BY REPORTER, RE-ASSURING MR. BIDEN “IT IS O.K. TO STAY IN THE BASEMENT” TODAY

 3.   SECRET PHOTOGRAPH FROM NORTH KOREA REVEALS “HILLARY’S REVENGE” LOGO ON NEW ICBM MISSILE 

 2.  RARE AGREEMENT BETWEEN CUOMO AND DeBLASIO: RELEASING VIOLENT CRIMINALS HAS NO IMPACT ON CRIME

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE WE WON’T BE SEEING THIS WEEK is:

1.   PRESIDENT REJECTS “VIRTUAL” DEBATE, BUT REMAINS SILENT ON POTENTIAL CAGE MATCH

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Responses from the incumbent will be delivered in writing, and read aloud by Morgan Freeman.

  9. After a candidate interrupts his opponent a second time, moderator may call for a mixed-martial arts cage match.

  8. Through the magic of television, any candidate invoking the term “white supremacist” will himself be fitted with a virtual white hood.

  7.  The challenger shall be afforded a stand-by teleprompter, in the event his earpiece fails.

  6.  There will be no references to “nap time” during any intermissions.

  5.  Since one debate moderator will be a Biden advocate and former intern, final debate will be hosted by Jared Kushner.

  4.  To appear more presidential, both candidates will be required to wear top hats.

  3.  Any candidate who works in a quote from James Madison or Alexander Hamilton will be awarded $50, presented by a descendent of  “You Bet Your Life” host Groucho Marx.

  2. Debaters must provide the costs to taxpayers for any new government spending they advocate.  Lie detectors will be readied.

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW RULE from the COMMISSION on PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES is:

  1.  Candidates will arrive in wrestling team Spandex — just in case.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .