Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10.     While watching this movie, please be sure to keep the A/C above 8​4 degrees Fahrenheit (that’s 29 degrees Celsius).

 9.        I agree, Mr. Gore.   That white coat makes you seem so truly….    scientific!”

  8.      No, I wouldn’t really call this ​mah ​“private” jet.   In fact, I brought Leonardo DiCaprio and Mark Ruffalo with me​ here​ to ​St. Tropez.  

                                                                                                                                        — ​VP Al Gore

  7.        Is it true that your Nashville ​estate use​s​ more electricity than the Grand Old Opry and Disneyland combined?

  6.      So, natural gas is good, but fracking is bad?

  5.      That iceberg was pretty solid until you landed 3,000 environmentalists on top of it.

  4.     ​ So that’s really why you split up?   Tipper owns four polar bear coats?

   3.    The official sponsor of this film is Vladimir Putin’s “Gazprom” energy company.

   2.      But wouldn’t global warming mean an extension of bikini season?   – –  Bill Clinton

and the NUMBER ONE RECORDED COMMENT LEFT on the FLOOR WHILE EDITING AL GORE’S “AN INCONVENIENT SEQUEL” is:

   1.      Well, Al, I kind of like the idea of growing mangoes right here on Greenland.

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10.   Look, ​Hurricane Sandy was only​ four-and-a-half yea​rs ago.

 9.    What do you expect for ​just ​$​18​ billion a year?

 8.    “Don’t blame me, I only have six votes on the MTA Board.”  

                          — NY Governor Andrew Cuomo

 7.    “Don’t look at me, I only have four votes on the MTA Board.”  

                      — NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio

 6.    Define “late” for me in 2017.

5.    Wait here.   A social worker will be assigned to you so you can cope with not getting to work.

 4.     We can’t afford to repair those tracks!  How will we pay a retired subway ​car ​cleaner his $100,000 pension each year ?

​ 3.     If we could only charge rent to the homeless guys who live down there.

  2.    Relax and wait for winter 2020.

 …and the NUMBER ONE EXCUSE for the “SUMMER of PAIN” in the METROPOLITAN TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY’S SUBWAYS and COMMUTER TRAINS is:

 1.   Let me check with the Chief Diversity Officer to see why that train was cancelled.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” log on to  www.gipperten.com .    Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.     While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016 and 2017.    Enjoy.

10.  The bathrooms are gender specific?   I am so out of here.

  9.  Senator Warren, if we pass a single payer health plan, will that cover my botox and tummy tucks?

   8.   No, I would not consider housing foreign migrants in my servants’ quarters.  The nerve.

   7.  So if I max out for you, Kamala, you’d want to build public housing here in Southampton?

    6.  Wow, Food Stamps won’t pay for lobster tail ?

    5.  Of course I know poor people personally.    Why, there’s the mayor right over there.

    4.   Governor Cuomo, how egalitarian of you to take mass transit here.     Is that a state helicopter?

     3.  I hear that Hillary placed her “Deplorables” tattoo right next to her “Wisconsin” henna.

     2.  Let me get this straight, Senator Schumer.    If I donate $100,000 to your caucus, you’ll raise my taxes by $7 million?

and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at RECEPTIONS this MONTH to BOOST “PROGRESSIVE” CAUSES at BILLIONAIRES’ MANSIONS is:

    1.   Sorry, President Clinton.    This is not a “suits optional” swimming pool.

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.   While on the site, you can scroll back to catch up on previous “Top Tens’ from 2016 and 2017.    Enjoy!

10.    “The European Union is here to help you,”   interactive seminar.  (“Incorrect” responses prompt electric shocks delivered to offending participants.)

  9.    “Hot Yoga” ​(​with Zumba​ supplement)​, led by Angela, Donald and Theresa

  8.   “How to differentiate between a rioter, an MSNBC reporter, NYC Mayor De Blasio, a small nation​‘s​ foreign minister and that guy in the chicken suit.”  

             — with Chris Mathews moderating

  7.    “Economics in One Lesson,” with Prof. Larry Kudlow    (Prerequisite: support for any of the following three policies:  

           a. Single-payer health schemes

           b. Income tax rates above 30%

           c. Price controls on any goods or services  ) 

   6.      One-on-one “tours” of Hamburg’s stimulating “Reeperbahn” red light district

   5.     “Creative Surrender”  (a pacifist’s guide to co-existing with Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un)      Professor Jeremy Corbyn lecturing

   4.      “Here I am, my Loyal  World Subjects”   —  prepared 75-minute address by NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio

    3.     “How to Mask Your Appearance with Black Fabric”      (-increasingly valuable as voter approval ratings decline)

    2.     Foreign Language Instruction…   Options:  Russian -or-  Korean (northern dialect)

…and the NUMBER ONE “OFF AGENDA” ACTIVITY at the G-20 SUMMIT in HAMBURG is:

     1.     “Water Cannon Target Practice”   (Heads of State only)

To subscribe for free to “Your Weekly American Top Ten list,” please visit  www.gipperten.com  .   Then complete the “subscribe” boxes and sugmit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016 and 2017.     Enjoy!

Your devoted editor is in the hospital, recovering from emergency gall bladder surgery.

So please excuse the absence of “Your Weekly American Top Ten list” this week.

While you are on this site, why not catch up on previous “Top Tens” from 2016 and 2017?

Let us pause to reflect on Independence Day and the inspired confluence of such great minds who came to create our Declaration of Independence.

And let us thank those remarkable minds who framed our Constitution and so many more who have taken up arms to safeguard these sacred institutions that have guaranteed our freedom for over 200 years.

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