Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. They tell me that if a Baltimore teen has an “MS-13” shirt, he has pride in his “Middle School.”

9. Abrego, if I may call you that, sir…    You would never raise your hand in anger against a woman, would you?

8.  Kilmar Abrego Garcia….   Kilmar Abrego Garcia…    I love how lyrical that sounds.   Did you ever play for the Orioles?

7.  I am filing a bill next week to rename Francis Scott Key National Monument in Baltimore as “Kilmar Abrego Garcia National Recreation Area.”

6.  Kilmar Abrego means “tender father” in English, does it not?

5.   Do they serve margaritas to the general prison population here?

4.  OK, Mr. Garcia.    They are moving you to your own quarters for now.     Can I come over and watch HBO tonight?

3.  One beautiful thing about being a U.S. Senator, sir, is that long-sleeve dress shirts cover any and all gang tattoos.

2. “Tren de Aragua” really refers to the “A” train in New York, I’m told.

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD DURING “THAT SENATOR’S” TRIP to EL SALVADOR is…

1. What the heck kind of progressive are you, flying commercial instead ofprivate ??

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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 10.    Israel and Ukraine are aggressors.

9.    New York City can raise taxes with no consequences.

8.  Kamala will be California’s salvation.

7.     This nation will be fine with less energy production.

6.      The world is safer with hypersonic missile ownership limited to Russia, Red China and Iran.

5.      “Violence interrupters” and social workers reduce the need for police.

4.    The pledge of allegiance is racist, but a “Meet your transgender neighbor” assembly is perfect for middle-schoolers.

3.      Voter I. D. is r​eaction​ary and suppresses voting.

2.     ​The question that has no correct answer is: “What is a woman?”

… and the NUMBER ONE RUMOR THAT is LESS BELIEVABLE THAN the EASTER BUNNY is…

1.       WHAT $37 trillion national debt??   We really “need” lots more free stuff!

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  ​ The Taliban has a 10,000% tariff on DVDs of ​ the film“Lone Survivor​.”

9. Italy has a 30% tariff on canned Chef Boy-ar-Dee products.   No one ever took the blame for this​.

8. ​ In response to talk of annexation, Greenland ​has retaliated with a 2,000% tariff on American seal blubber.

7.  For ​uttering a joke about the Supreme Leader​ during trade negotiations, ​the Islamic Republic of Iran demands $2​,000 to cover the costs of ​your funeral.

6. Albania and France impose a 50% fee on all of Liam Neeson’s  tourism-killing​ “Taken” movies.

5.  Mexico adds a 25% fee on “Casamigos” tequila imports, ​excepting Clooney​-autograph​ed bottle​s.

4.  ​Prior to your “pre-import” meeting with Kim Jong-un, drop the names of three NBA stars and you will only have to kiss the beloved North Korean leader’s ring…

3.  On 5-day old sushi from the USA, Japan offers no barriers or tariffs at all.  

2. Manufacturers of “transgender swimwear” have been waiting for a customs decision from Pakistan for three years.

…and the NUMBER ONE QUIRK in the INTERNATIONAL TRADE and TARIFF LANDSCAPE is…

1. The president has fast-tracked a zero tariff policy on all imported high-pressure shower heads.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe to newsletter”” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

                                                                                                                                        (Sorry that last week’s posting did not occur, due to a tech glitch.)

10.  I had no idea that Barack went into acting.

9.  Is that da​ng S.O.B. Clooney playing opposite him?

8. Jill, tell me the truth:   is this the same box Lincoln sat in?

7. Is that S.O.B. Clooney I see tending bar back there?

6.   Of course these tickets were free.  The last thing I paid for was a term paper in college.

5.  Wow, the west side of Manhattan with thousands of people who can afford $1,500 tickets.    That’s my base !

4.  I haven’t heard any “Lion King” songs at all.

3.  ​Call Hunter and Jim.    We can’t make a single dollar in this place.

2.  Where is the ice cream machine?

…and the NUMBER ONE INNERMOST THOUGHT of JOSEPH BIDEN WHILE ATTENDING the PREMIERE of “OTHELLO” on BROADWAY was:

1. If we made the rich “pay their fair share,” I guess this theater would be empty.   

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2025 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .