10. That strangely familiar guy in the back of the “Speed Dating” bar party is a former president of the United States.
9. With no more Corona virus briefings from Mayor DeBlasio, reporters emerge from NYC City Hall fully alert and awake.
8. Protesters advocating a “correct” cause can congregate in crowds, without masks. (No, not YOU, not yet)….
7. Joe Biden is spotted in the sunshine, waving to people. Police soon deliver him back to the family in Wilmington.
6. Looters pause to apply sun block they’ve just stolen.
5. Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio emerge from quarantine to hop on their private jets en route to the next Climate Change symposium.
4. Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer‘s husband, Dr. Marc Molloy, manages to avoid saying “do you have any idea who my wife is?” for five whole hours.
3. Astronauts return from the space station, only to ask: “What virus?”
2. Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot no longer feels a need to explain how she “takes her personal hygiene very seriously.”
…and the NUMBER ONE SIGN that YOUR STATE is FINALLY “OPENING UP” is…
1. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo goes “cruising” in his 1968 GTO convertible, yelling: “I’m available! I’m available!”
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
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