- At the 2024 Super Bowl in Las Vegas, your “Biden Gun Buy-Back” will provide $5 in casino chips in exchange for your family protection device.
- Ethnic celebrations that feature firing rifles into the air will receive National Endowment for the Humanities grants.
- The Secret Service is hereby deployed to provide Chuck Schumer, Dr. Jill, Hakeem Jeffries, Nancy Pelosi and Bernie Sanders with their own moving, square-mile Gun Free Zones.
- AR-15s confiscated from law-abiding Americans will be issued to crossing migrants as a “Welcome to America” benefit.
- In the event of home invasion, operators will be available for “chats” on the White House website, 8AM-to-9PM daily.
- For all past and future transgressions, Hunter is issued a full and well-deserved Presidential Pardon.
- Ordinary Americans can apply for a $100 credit if they decide to hire a personal security detail.
- New Federal re-branding campaign will attract more visitors to D.C. by referring to it as “Tranquility.”
- All really scary-looking guns are herewith banned.
…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN BIDEN EXECUTIVE ORDER on GUNS is…
- You can print out the White House’s “GUN FREE ZONE” decal to protect your home.
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