10. “Re-elect Biden-Harris” T-shirts for all.
9. Make it to Texas, US Homeland Security buys “BBQ Restaurant Week” special for all migrants.
8. Enter lottery to become next host of “Reliable Sources” on CNN. (Ratings would surely improve).
7. Set off metal detector, get free massage from three sensitivity-trained agents
6. Claim discrimination against the rancher whose tractor you stole, win tractor.
5. Each week, three migrants (shoes required) get to compete on “The Bachelorette”
4. Migrants randomly selected to meet with Kamala to discuss “root causes” of illegal migration (only by Zoom, of course).
3. Wade across Rio Grande, audit a “Dr. Jill” course, tuition-free.
2. Snap selfie at the border wall, get TV shout out from Jen Psaki.
…and the NUMBER ONE BENEFIT AVAILABLE to ILLEGAL MIGRANTS at the BORDER is…
1. On midnight flights to secret airports, illegals with birthdays this month gets upgraded to business class.
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