10. President Biden offered to build him the “West Virginia Comprehensive Subway Authority.”
9. Mitch McConnell promised to extend the subway from WVa right to the Senate Hart Building.
8. New “Robert K. Byrd Theme Park” near Parkersburg to feature a locally familiar “alternative” to Mount Rushmore.
7. There’s nothing like having Chuck Schumer and Dick Durban serving you coffee and croissants on trays each morning.
6. As he enters the Senate chambers, John Denver tunes drown out anyone who happens to be speaking.
5. Post-pandemic concert tickets are being printed for the “Kennedy – Manchin Center.”
4. Open survey of female Senators lists him as the “most magnetically handsome” member of their institution.
3. Air Force 2 had previously never been used for commuting.
2. Jeff Bezos to order Washington Post to run daily flattering photo and “Manchin Witticism.”
…and the Number One Reason it’s Good to be Senator Joe Manchin in 2021 is:
1. During his visit to the House Speaker’s office, she excused herself to “slip into something more comfortable.”
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