10. Sure, she is unrepentant. But be a champ and issue a pardon to Hillary… (President Trump)
9. Figure out how to finagle free golf at Mar-a-Lago… (former President Obama)
8. By Easter for sure, show up one morning at work… (Mayor Bill DeBlasio)
7. Try not to leer in anticipation when Mr. Biden stumbles… (Kamala)
6. Show up at the Holland Tunnel to wave bye-bye to all the New Yorkers escaping your taxes and gun laws… (Gov. Andrew Cuomo)
5. Offer North Korean luxury vehicles in exchange for NBA franchise… (Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un)
4. On the Inauguration grandstand, a stethoscope will make a truly memorable fashion accessory. (“Dr.” Jill Biden)
3. Now’s as good a time as any to re-train all editors and reporters in the principles of even-handed journalism… (the editors of the New York Times)
2. Never drift more than 10 feet from the teleprompter… (Joseph Biden)
…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTIONS for 2021 is…
1. Purchase a Hollywood-caliber fake beard for those evenings when you simply must dine at a fine restaurant... (Gov. Gavin Newsom)
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