10. Visit the North Korean National Zoo before all residents are eaten.
9. Tourist chances for torture now under 20%.
8. Dunk basketball, meet Supreme Leader.
7. Stay 3 nights, get one free at Korea Bay “Sandals.”
6. Smoking is to be encouraged.
5. Fly to Pyong Yang, earn free stopover in Guam.
4. Honeymoon in a romantic missile silo! (25% discount if “launch alarm” is heard.)
3. Our new “Surf & Turf” — Dog meat and Fish heads.
2. The Yalu River Extreme Weight Loss Spa Week. Voted #1 on the peninsula. Mention this ad, receive extra gruel.
…and the NUMBER ONE NEW SLOGAN to PROMOTE “NORTH KOREA TOURISM” is:
1. Lots more toilet paper than Venezuela!
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