10. Oakland Bay Bridge to be re-named “Speaker Nancy Pelosi Bridge to Somewhere.”
9. Free anonymous rooms for Bill Clinton at any Trump hotel property
8. Prior to Obamacare repeal, President will personally OK new hairplugs for Biden and Schumer
7. Top marginal income tax rate back up to 90%, but New York and California wines to become tax deductible
6. Pell Grants to include supplements (pot stamps!) for cannabis purchases (ONLY where legal, of course.)
5. Federal PBS funding for “Charlie Rangel: A Life” twelve-part documentary
4. In the event of regime change, Chuck, Nancy & spouses fly on Air Force One to the first “Hedonist” resort in North Korea
3. If budget deal is delivered, President will wear “Vladimir Putin” t-shirt at Mar-a-Lago. If not, Chuck Schumer wears complete Commandante Maduro military uniform on the Senate floor.
2. Nancy gets to borrow Melania’s designer sweat clothing for one month
and the NUMBER ONE SECRET DEMAND from CHUCK and NANCY DURING BUDGET TALKS with the PRESIDENT is:
1. Full pardon for Hillary Clinton
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