10. You meet the neighbor’s 46 year old daughter, “Sloopy.”
9. He asks you for a push to jump start his 1963 Volkswagen micro-bus (the one with bumperstickers touting “NORML” and “McGovern-Shriver,” alongside “Hope and Change.”)
8. He’s never washed his lucky rainbow headband from 1969.
7. He’s been living with “Brandi” Hendrix since meeting in the mud at Woodstock. Ever the traditionalists, they plan to marry once the children have passed away.
6. Both partners ran as “Bernie” delegates last year.
5. He will never read another newspaper until they end that darn war in Vietnam.
4. He gets the giggles and the munchies simultaneously at his job interview. But still got hired at the “Imagine” Bookstore.
3. Wears Birkenstocks actually autographed by Country Joe in 1969.
2. You tried those brownies baked by Brandi and the next morning, called in your first “mental health” day.
…and the NUMBER ONE WAY to TELL THAT YOUR NEIGHBOR has NEVER REALLY GOTTEN OVER the WOODSTOCK MUSIC FESTIVAL is…
1. His one necktie is a tie-dye.
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