10. Do not humiliate people like Senator Susan Collins or former President Obama JUST for holding extreme right-wing views.
9. Remember that criticisms of Commandante Maduro and “President” Castro are attacks on all Spanish-speakers…
8. Be aware that raising your eyebrows or staring may be instruments of microaggression.
7. Remember that your classmate may identify as one gender in school, and choose another in nearby Washington Square Park. To verbally remark on this is prima facie bullying (and, yes, microaggression).
6. Be ready to recite the meaning of the new acronym LGBTQIAGNC. To be ignorant of this is the equivalent of not knowing about Martin Luther King Jr. or Susan B. Anthony.
5. Any references to William Shakespeare, Louis Pasteur, Albert Einstein, William Roentgen, St. Augustine and Leonardo da Vinci will lead to mandatory counseling about reversing oppression by white males.
4. Simply looking like Mitt or Ann Romney is a microaggression.
3. If you believe that you “may” have committed a microaggression, report immediately to the New School’s Vice President for Diversity so that interrogation and re-education may commence.
2. Any reference to “Police” on campus must include the proper “racist” adjective, even when discussing non-white officers.
…and the NUMBER ONE “THING YOU SHOULD KNOW” ABOUT the NEW ‘MICROAGGRESSION POLICY” at the NEW SCHOOL in GREENWICH VILLAGE is:
1. Be aware of the privilege you are endowed with as a cisgender person….
For fun, why not take a look at the actual policy of The New School regarding microaggressions? You may conclude that the real thing is more absurd than my attempts at humorous fiction above. Search for: “The New School’s new policy on microaggressions,” or log on to: www.newschool.edu/student-health-services/anti-violence/micro-aggression/ .
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