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TOP TEN INDICATORS that you are NOT LIKELY to BECOME PRESIDENT in 2020…

10.  You are mayor of a city in Indiana or New York.

 9. Voters back home in Minnesota still favor Al Franken over you.

 8. You were remembered mostly for resembling that singer in “Abba.” (Gillibrand) 

 7. “YES!”  (At the debate, you raised your hand to support free health care for illegals. We have the photo.)

 6.  You claimed Native American heritage to enter academia, then got paid over $400K NOT to teach at Harvard.

 5.  Your twin brother isn’t running, but is polling ahead of you for president.

 4.  Even after your great cardiac care on the campaign trail, you still favor Venezuelan-style health “reforms.”

 3.  People remember that you were THAT mayor of Newark. (Booker)

 2.  Voters can only identify “skateboarding” as your primary skill. (O’Rourke and Yang)

…and the NUMBER ONE INDICATOR that you are NOT LIKELY to BECOME PRESIDENT in 2020 is:

1. Even if your son’s name is “Hunter,” that won’t really cut it with gun owners. Or Ukrainian-Americans.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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