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TOP TEN CELEBRITY CHRISTMAS GIFTS for 2017:

 10.     Socks (any color but black) for former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer.

 

 9.  One day,  just one, of favorable news coverage for you-know-who.

  

 8.   Five knee-slapping jokes gift wrapped for Mitch McConnell.

 

 7.   An AR-15 rifle for Sen. Chuck Schumer.   Shooting lessons courtesy of Ted Cruz and Wayne LaPierre.

 

 6.   “Free” tuition for Nancy Pelosi to attend the next FEE seminar, “Capitalism for Dummies.”

 

 5.    Rosetta Stone Arabic lessons for Angela Merkel.

 

 4.   Red-and-green robes for top jurists through January 6th (approved by a 5-4 Supreme Court vote.)

 

 3.   No-females-allowed road trip across the USA for John Conyers & Roy Moore.

 

 2.   Trump Transition team e-mails for Bob Mueller   (sorry, the Federal GSA just gave him these!).

 

…and the NUMBER ONE CELEBRITY CHRISTMAS GIFT for 2017 is:


 1.   (In exchange for a no-nukes North Korea…)  An NBA franchise for Kim Jong-un (Pyong Yang Predators?)

 

 

 

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