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TOP TEN RESOLUTIONS for 2024

  1. (Andrew Cuomo) When announcing a new run for elective office, (to prevent involuntary groping) wear catcher’s mitts on both hands.

 

  1. (Adam Schiff) Come up with new and better hoax than Russia-Collusion, get elected to U.S. Senate.

 

  1. (Joseph Biden)  Go on vacation once in a while.

 

  1. (Kamala Harris) As “Border Czarina,” relocate official VP residence to Eagle Pass, Texas.  Once there, wait to see if you’re on the `24 ticket.

 

  1. (Kim Jong-un)   Find a new, empty body of water for missile-lobbing.

 

  1. (Donald Trump)  Avoid conviction, take golfing weekend on Taiwan.

 

  1. (Eric Adams)  Figure out how to blame Republicans for the $9 billion NYC deficit caused by spending on 150,000 migrants.

 

  1. (MSNBC and CNN)   Keep saving democracy by cheering Trump removals from ballots.

 

  1. (Chuck Schumer)  Be more open and willing to accept reporters’ questions and free media coverage. 

…and the NUMBER ONE RESOLUTION for 2024 is…

  1. (Gavin Newsom)  Build your own border wall, to keep fleeing California taxpayers IN.

 

                                                         BLESSINGS for 2024 to all “Weekly American Top Ten” list readers!! 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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