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TOP TEN UNEXPECTED HAPPENINGS this THANKSGIVING 2022

 

 

  1.   Thanks to Bidenflation, 41% of U.S. heads-of-households are considering a dinner of “mashed potatoes in the shape of a turkey.”

 

  1.  On Wednesday, the President might not grant clemency to a traditional large bird…      but instead, he’ll pardon Hunter.

 

  1.  Congressional “Squad” will declare that “Black Friday” sales are arranged only for the benefit of capitalist predators.

 

  1.  New York Times editorial headline to read:  “GRATITUDE… FOR WHAT?’

 

  1.     Anonymous White House aides planning to rename: the “White House Winter Solstice Tree and the “National Cold Weather Candelabra”   (formerly the White House menorah…)

 

  1.    At the President’s “surprise” (everything is a surprise nowadays) 80th birthday party, Nancy Pelosi to show up to sing her version of “Santa, Baby!”

 

  1.    At the southern border, Democrat office-holders to greet Thursday’s migrant arrivals with plates of taxpayer-supplied turkey, gift shoes and free tuition vouchers….   .

 

  1.   Outraged that the classic movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” is being televised every day, a TV critic sees “the hand of white supremacy.”

 

  1.   In Qatar, government officials have promised that same-sex couples attending the World Cup this week “will not be arrested” until the quarter-finals.

 

…and the NUMBER ONE UNEXPECTED HAPPENING this THANKSGIVING 2022 is….

 

 1.At the annual Thanksgiving Parade down Broadway, the huge “Kamala Harris balloon” will be positioned between the “Snoopy the Aviator balloon” and the “juggling Santas.”

 

 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

 

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