10. Unknown airborne craft in US Navy’s Norfolk air space merely waiting for takeout crabcake orders.
9. During his supposed nightly Amtrak commutes to Delaware while in the US Senate, Joseph Biden was actually transported by “progressives” from Neptune.
8. Producer Michael Moore wears large baseball hats in order to conceal a disturbing conehead.
7. Body of alien recovered from Roswell, N.M. in 1947 found to have counterfeit Food Stamps on his person.
6. Slow moving flying craft near New York State Fair sponsored by “Re-elect Chuck Schumer” campaign.
5. UFO crash reveals thousands of frozen vegetarian lasagna meals intended for JFK-LAX flights.
4. Intergalactic spokesmodel says his leader felt “obligated to shuttle Congresspersons Ocasio, Tlaib, Omar, Swallwell, Pressley, Nadler and Bowman back home” to the planet Remulac.
3. As a gesture of friendship, alien males make sure to wear Biden-style hair plugs.
2. Interplanetary visitors “de-saucer” and request “take me to your leader.” They were whisked directly to Kamala.
…and the NUMBER ONE ADVANCE REVELATION from the GOVERNMENT’S COMING RELEASE of U.F.O. FILES is:
1. You were correct— US Senator Mazie Hirono is not of this earth.
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