Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. When meeting with Anita Hill to express regret, offer a teasingly slow shoulder massage.

9. Admit it, Joe.  Admit that growing up in Scranton gave you undeserved privilege.

8. Make really sure you only accept cash donations from Harvey Weinstein.

7.  Try to work in the words “woke,” “me too,” and “multi-gendered” in to every speech, but not all in the same sentence.

6.   There is no need to call Mayor Pete a “whippersnapper,” not yet.

5.  During the Democratic primary debates, resist sniffing Bernie’s hair or rubbing noses with Kamala.

4.  When firing that shotgun off from your back porch, always be sure to yell: “They wanna put y’all back in chains!”

3.  To conclude a hard day of campaigning in Chicago, visit with Jussie Smollett to express concern for his “trauma.”

2.  Reserve your famous “articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking” compliment only for foreign leaders.”

…and the NUMBER ONE WAY that JOE BIDEN can DEMONSTRATE he is “SUFFICIENTLY PROGRESSIVE” is…

1.  Endorse “Cosmetic Surgery for All,” beginning with hair plugs.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

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While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

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10.   The White House approved only 3 VIP White House tours for Congressman Swallwell.

9.  In firing James Comey, the President is on tape shouting “… and don’t let the door hit you….”

8. Governor Andrew Cuomo can disband the entire Moreland Commission investigating public corruption.     But if the President just THINKS  about firing a counsel …  that’s impeachable!

7. Mr. Trump just wouldn’t take John Brennan’s word on things.

6. The President had the audacity to call Rep. Adam Schiff a “pencil neck.”   Ain’t that right, Shifty?

5.   Him using that word “hoax” has got to be a high crime, if not a misdemeanor.

4. While renting at “Trump Village” in 1977, Manhattan Congressman Jerry Nadler had to call three times about a leaky faucet.

3.   This House must carry on the relentless “investigative” work of Jim Acosta, Rachel Maddow, Charles Blow and Brian Williams.

2.   Just look at this “collusion” message hidden within a Roger Stone tattoo.

…and the NUMBER ONE SECRET ARTICLE of IMPEACHMENT BEING PREPARED by “PROGRESSIVE” HOUSE MEMBERS is:

1.   Mar-a-Lago just would not offer Joe Biden his usual free room upgrade.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.   When vegetarian actress Pamela Anderson visited Julian Assange, she “smuggled” in three Big Macs for him.

9.  Hillary Clinton remains one of the world’s top experts on acid-washing of e-mails.   She will speak to your organization about “Covering Your Tracks” for only $250,000.

8.  Vladimir Putin lusts after Ukraine largely so he can impress a certain anchorwoman in Kiev.

7.   A Barack Obama e-mail once referred to Joe Biden as a “grinning goofball.”

6.  China’s President Xi really wants an American-made Hummer for weekends.

5.    At least five European heads of state secretly believe “climate change” is a scam.

4.      Until April, four Democratic candidates for president were considering creepy lawyer Michael Avenatti as a running mate.

3.   Prior to offering the Nigerian brothers $3,500 to beat him up, Jussie Smollett asked  “Empire” fan George Stephanopoulos to wear a “MAGA” cap and do it for $1,800.

2. For the $1.1 million she paid for the fraudulent Steele and Fusion GPS dossier, Hillary Clinton also received 3 free nights at any Best Western in the country and a month supply of Popeye’s Fried Chicken.

...and the NUMBER ONE YET-to-BE RELEASED WIKILEAKS REVELATION is,,,

1.There are no showers in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Prior to the election, the Trump Organization was ​only considering a Motel 6 franchise in Moscow.

9.  During his brief tenure in the White House, General Mike Flynn was called 11 times by Senator Elizabeth Warren for VIP White House Tours.

8.  James Comey authorized electronic eavesdropping while Eric and Lara Trump visited heavily Russian Brighton Beach for dinner.

7.  Grand Jury testimony revealed that Roger Stone still has a Richard Nixon tattoo, but none of Vladimir Putin.

6.    Through a personal contact, it was James Brennan who got borscht and Stolychnaya added to the White House Mess menu​ last year​.

5.   Th​at​ “secret hotel video” from Russia shows citizen Trump raiding the mini-bar in his Moscow room.

4.  While Hillary Clinton was deeply involved in meetings about her fake “Steele Dossier,” leading to a fra​u​dulent FISA order, Bill was making new friends at the “Hooters” in White Plains, NY.

3.  Of the 240 subpoenas issued by the Special Counsel’s staff, only two involved glossy photos of Melania Trump.

2. The Mueller staff featured 42 attorneys, which enabled at least one of them to always be free for a coffee-and-doughnuts​ run.

…and the NUMBER ONE FACT or FINDING to be REDACTED PRIOR to the RELEASE of the MUELLER REPORT is…

1. Of the $35 million spent on the Russia Investigation, $1.8 million went to buying FAX machines and beepers.    Hey, this IS the Federal government.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2019 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .