TOP TEN SURPRISING NEW WINTER OLYMPIC SPORTS for 2018 GAMES in KOREA (North Korea is “cooperating” with the Olympic games in the South) :

10.   Speed Skat​ing​ south Across the 38th Parallel Border

 9.    Steroid Chugging (for Olympians not affiliated with a national team)

 8.    Nuclear ​Curling​

 7.    Luge for your Life

 6.  ​Climate Change ​Filibustering ​ (games begin when temps drop to 15 o F.)​

 5.  ​Political Prisoner biathlon ​

 4.  Parasailing​ Across the Sea of Japan​

 3.  ​Skeleton (the 800 calorie-per-day beauty contest)

 2.   Three-person “H.O.R.S.E.” with Denni​s Rodman  (non-medalists to be imprisoned)

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW OLYMPIC SPORT for the 2018 GAMES in KOREA is :

 1.  Male Head of State Ski Jumping (5’4″ height limit)

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