10. That blonde guy from “The Apprentice” might be serious.
9. Call Dennis Rodman right now for me.
8. It was such a romantic evening. We watched movie after movie about the Supreme Leader’s father, Kim Jong-Un.
7. That’s not a haircut. THIS is a haircut!
6. For the big endorsement, would Elizabeth come here, or would I drop by Cambridge ?
5. We can solve income equality if the prisoners just work harder.
4. How many more of my uncles are still alive?
3. The Communist Party Central Committee gave 97.6% of its votes to the Supreme Leader. Those are San Francisco-type election numbers, baby.
2. You mean we test ICBM missiles WITHOUT counter-revolutionaries in them?
… and the NUMBER ONE COMMUNICATION INTERCEPTED THIS WEEK from PYONG YANG, NORTH KOREA is:
1. This whole showdown will blow over as soon as we denounce global warming and endorse a bathroom bill.
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