TOP TEN WAYS THAT PRESIDENT OBAMA and SECRETARY KERRY CAN TELL IF IRAN IS CHEATING ON THE NUCLEAR AGREEMENT THEY SIGNED :
10. Iconic view of Mount Tochal from Tehran obscured by stacks of new ICBM missiles.
9. High-stepping Iranian Guards regiment leading off beloved “Mummers” parade in Philadelphia.
8. Front-page headline on “Cosmopolitan” magazine: “EXCITING NEW BURQAS TO DRIVE HIM WILD!“
7. Starbucks introduces espresso beverage: Bani Sadr Tabriz Truffle
6. For six days now, callers to London and Berlin always get that creepy “busy circuit” buzz.
5. “People” magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive?” — Supreme Leader Ali Khameni (That vain Supreme Leader! For the photo shoot, his robes were clearly more form fitting.)
4. Most popular baby names in the USA, 2015: “Noah” and “Emma”
Most popular baby names in the USA, 2017: “Abdul-Fazi” and “Nazanin-Sahra”
3. The good news: Finally, a woman appears on the $20 bill.
The bad news: Thanks to the hijab, we can’t tell who she is.
2. “The Late Show‘s” Steven Colbert goes on vacation. Guest host: former President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
And…. the #1 way President Obama and Secretary Kerry can tell if Iran cheating on the nuclear agreement they signed :
1. At the 7th inning stretch in Wrigley Field, public address announcer intones:
“Gentlemen, please rise and remove your turbans, as we chant “Death to the Cardinals.”
