TOP TEN ALTERNATIVE E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR HILLARY CLINTON
10. “Haughty@chappaqua.net”
9. “PaytoPlay@state.US.gov”
8. “What.emails?@wellesley.edu”
7. “BarackWho?@IreallyLoveIowa.com”
6. “LincolnBedroom@WhiteHouse4Sale.gov”
5. “Entitled@RodhamFever.com”
4. “Benghazi-me@SeparateBedrooms.org
3. “NameJustOneAccomplishment@TaxHikes.org”
2. “InsertCreditCardHere@Hillary2016.net”
…and the #1 Alternative E-mail Address for Hillary Clinton is:
1. “NoQuestionsPlease@transparent.com”
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Your Weekly American Top Ten List for the week of February 25, 2016
(Recently, President Obama’s spokesperson at the State Department declared that the President had “brought peace to Syria.” Here then are the:)
TOP TEN WAYS PRESIDENT OBAMA CAN PROVE HIS CLAIM THAT HE “BROUGHT PEACE TO SYRIA.”
10. Nowadays, Bashar el-Assad delivers mustard gas mostly in attractive yet practical potpourri packets.
9. Syrian state TV’s new weekly feature: “Meet your friendly local Kurd.” (each week’s guest imprisoned after taping)
8. Moderate Syrian rebels officially downgraded by government press office from “satanic” to merely “annoying little devils.”
7. Priceless ancient monuments destroyed by ISIS goons to be replaced with heroic mega-statues of shirtless Vladimir Putin on horseback.
6. Old war-like Syrian government language: “We will remove Israel from the face of the map!” New “Peace in Syria” language: “The Jewish state will no longer appear on your GPS.”
5. “Adolf Hitler Boulevard” in Damascus renamed “Eva Braun Nature Appreciation Trail.”
4. Soviet-supplied MIG jets now equipped with relaxing massage seats for fighter pilots attacking anti-Assad rebels.
3. To celebrate “Peace in Syria,” White House spokeman Josh Earnest has traded his Prius, even-up, for a camel.
2. “ISIS” acronym being re-worked and re-branded to spell “NICE.”
…And the # 1 way the President can prove his claim that he has brought “peace to Syria” is:
- “Look, President Assad is wearing western-style neckties and suits.” (Wait a minute. He’s always been dressed that way!)
