- One convicted killer is anchoring the early “Rise & Shine”show on MSNBC. No one noticed.
- One of the more articulate escapees is a tour guide on the “Hop On, Hop Off” bus, rolling down Bourbon Street.
- A taller inmate is a doorman at New Orleans’ Fairmont-Roosevelt, and considers his plumed helmet to be a great temporary disguise.
- A bespectacled “runner” from jail was appointed Assistant Director for Criminal Justice Policy at a Soros-funded foundation.
- After shaving his head, one fleeing armed robber hitchhiked to San Francisco. He’s been hired by the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, but ironically, he drives a golf cart on Alcatraz Island.
- Sporting just-tailored evening wear, one handsome felon was seen escorting a Kardashian to an L. A. movie premiere.
- An illness created a sudden opportunity for one fugitive to be hired as the “Phillie Phanatic,” the green-costumed mascot of the MLB Phillies team.
- One fellow cleaned up well and is pitching “reverse mortgages” on cable TV.
- Somehow, a prisoner made it to Cuba, where he’s already moved in with fellow fugitive killer Joanne Chesimard (aka Assata Shakur). Her letters to him in that Big Easy jail used the word “soulmate” frequently.
…and the NUMBER ONE HYPOTHESIS REGARDING the WHEREABOUTS of THOSE FUGITIVE FELONS from that NEW ORLEAN JAIL is:
- Three of them are leading in the polls for seats in the New York City Council this year.
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