10. When throwing a spear to express opposition to free expression, it is acceptable to break the glass windows of Starbucks or Apple, but “protesters” must take all precautions to avoid alarming fellow radicals and liberals with noise pollution.
9. Persons invited to campus that begin expressing incorrect viewpoints must be blocked from speaking until they publicly recant.
8. Property is theft. Therefore, no penalties will be assessed against students expressing their progressivism by damaging or stealing property.
7. When voicing proper outrage at a conservative speaker, flame throwers are permissable, though accelerants are to be discouraged.
6. In matters of speech: penalty first, trial later.
5. The presence of the American flag at campus events will be considered provocative behavior.
4. Likenesses of Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Maxine Waters, Kim Jong-un, Justin Trudeau, Bernie Sanders and Bill DeBlasio will be protected by campus security.
3. Expressions of support for Israel will be considered attacks on all members of the university community.
2. Communist icon Angela Davis may pre-empt any speaker on the Berkeley campus, at her discretion.
…and the NUMBER ONE NEW PRINCIPLES FOR SPEECH at U-CAL BERKELEY is :
1. Students who miss exams while participating in campus rioting may opt for either A. the “pass-fail” option on a new exam, or B. a 10% “social justice” bonus on the re-scheduled test.
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