- High-paying new jobs for teachers of Danish and Inuit.
- Pizza Hut to roll out tasty six-slice “blubber” pies nationwide.
- Imagine those red, American-made “Gor Greenland Godt Igen” (“Make Greenland Great Again,” in Danish) hats.
- The subway from Nuuk to Sisimiut is crime free. Take that, Chicago.
- Quick, buy stock in Air Greenland.
- The NBA could expand to include the “Nuuk Musk Oxen.”
- Greenlanders seem to have the solution for the homeless problem in winter.
- Who doesn’t want a piece of “The Igloos at Trump Fjords?” 2. Leading candidate for governor of the scenic new Territory of Greenland campaigns on slogan: “Og, hvis valgt, jeg lover at holde disse forfærdelige Kathy Hochul ‘trængsel prissætning’ vejafgifter ud af Grønland .” (“And, if elected, I promise to keep those horrible Kathy Hochul ‘congestion pricing’ tolls out of Greenland!”).
…and the NUMBER ONE BENEFIT WHEN GREENLAND BECOMES an AMERICAN TERRITORY is…
- No American beauty pageant contestant need ever again fear the swimsuit competition from another “Miss Greenland.”
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