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TOP TEN PHONE CALLS EMANATING from the WHITE HOUSE THIS WEEK, as INTERCEPTED by FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS:

10.   (Call at 12 noon to the presidential palace in Paris)  “Sorry I’m late, may I call you Bibi?”

 

9.    “Are you close enough to deliver chocolate chip ice cream?”

 

8.     “You mean you are VLADIMIR, and not Volodymyr… in Kyiv?   So, how’s the weather in Moscow today?”

 

7.    “Jilly?  Jill?   Am I in Wilmington, Rehoboth or what?”

 

6.    “Second Gentleman Emhoff, can you help focus Kamala on the border?”

 

5.    “Hey Hunter, would-ya please call that lady is Moscow again?    Ask for another three-mil.”

 

  4.  “The price of gas is still under a dollar, ain’t it, Jim?”

 

  3.   “Hold on!   You sayin’ there could be ANOTHER laptop out there?    Quick, can we blame the Russians again?”

 

  2.  “I’m tellin’ ya, Rachel.    Corn Pop is real, but Tony Bobulinsky is not.”

 

…and the NUMBER ONE PHONE CALL EMANATING from the WHITE HOUSE THIS WEEK, as INTERCEPTED by FOREIGN INTELLIGENCE SYSTEMS is:

 

  1. “Nah, “paying my fair doesn’t apply to cash from overseas.”

 

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