10. As you know, Governor Cuomo limits family gatherings to ten people. You are the 11th to arrive.
9. Could you pass the turkey and stuffing, made possible by the most vibrant economy in world history?
8. Who’s that cute friend you brought? Ya’ think she unmasks on the first date?
7. The governor says that laughing is forbidden. It could lead to dancing. Yeah, that’s illegal too.
6. Do you think Melania will be cooking next year?
5. ‘Ceptin’ the Jello-mold, we personally hunted for all this food.
4. So, what does the Squad actually say about Thanksgiving?
3. The Pilgrims sailed for 3 months, and there was no canned cranberry sauce?
2. Are those real mashed potatoes, or are they corrupted, like voting in Philly or Detroit?
…and the NUMBER ONE DIVERSIONARY REMARK, to AVOID DISCUSSING POLITICS at the THANKSGIVING TABLE is…
1. All of our bathrooms are gender-neutral, of course.
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