10. “The European Union is here to help you,” interactive seminar. (“Incorrect” responses prompt electric shocks delivered to offending participants.)
9. “Hot Yoga” (with Zumba supplement), led by Angela, Donald and Theresa
8. “How to differentiate between a rioter, an MSNBC reporter, NYC Mayor De Blasio, a small nation‘s foreign minister and that guy in the chicken suit.”
— with Chris Mathews moderating
7. “Economics in One Lesson,” with Prof. Larry Kudlow (Prerequisite: support for any of the following three policies:
a. Single-payer health schemes
b. Income tax rates above 30%
c. Price controls on any goods or services )
6. One-on-one “tours” of Hamburg’s stimulating “Reeperbahn” red light district
5. “Creative Surrender” (a pacifist’s guide to co-existing with Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un) Professor Jeremy Corbyn lecturing
4. “Here I am, my Loyal World Subjects” — prepared 75-minute address by NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio
3. “How to Mask Your Appearance with Black Fabric” (-increasingly valuable as voter approval ratings decline)
2. Foreign Language Instruction… Options: Russian -or- Korean (northern dialect)
…and the NUMBER ONE “OFF AGENDA” ACTIVITY at the G-20 SUMMIT in HAMBURG is:
1. “Water Cannon Target Practice” (Heads of State only)
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