Your Weekly American Top Ten List

10. MR. BIDEN SAID TO BELIEVE​ IT’S RFK’S FATHER RUNNING AGAINST HIM

9. AIDES REVEAL THAT VICE PRESIDENT’S FAVORITE ASSIGNMENT IS AS ​HIP-HOP DANCER

8. SECRETARY BUTTIGIEG PLANNING TO SYNCHRONIZE NEXT BABY ADOPTION WITH T​HE LATEST TRANSPORTATION CATASTROPHE

7. TO DRAMATIZE HIS FEAR OF CLIMATE CHANGE, JOHN KERRY PERSONALLY THREW TOMATO SOUP AT​ OVAL OFFICE PAINTINGS 

6. ​SHELTERING IN REHOBOTH BEACH, ​DR. JILL TEST​S POSITIVE FOR ​POTOMAC FEVER, NOT COVID

5. HOUSING SECRETARY FUDGE LIKES THE SOUND OF “CZARINA” MORE THAN HER ACTUAL TITLE

4.  ​UPON SEEING KAMALA HONORING THE “50TH ANNIVERSARY of HIP-HOP,” JOE ASKED: “IS IT TIME FOR THAT EASTER EGG ROLL AGAIN?”

3.  NANCY PELOSI DECLARES FOR RE-ELECTION, DESPERATE TO FINALLY ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING

2.  NASHVILLE UTILITY CALCULATES THAT CARBON FOOTPRINT OF AL GORE’S COMPOUND EXCEEDS THAT OF ENTIRE CITY OF MEMPHIS

…and the NUMBER ONE HEADLINE MAINSTREAM MEDIA WON’T be USING THIS WEEK is:

1.  IN NEWEST LAPTOP DISCOVERY, HUNTER COMPLAINS ABOUT BIDEN-FLATION STEALING TWO MONTHS OF BRIBERY INCOME 

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “Bridge Over Troubled Waters”  –   “progressive” NYC politicians gleefully scheme to increase tolls to drive into Manhattan by as much as $23 per ride, calling their horror “Congestion Pricing!”   NYC mass transit is the progressive dream alternative!

9. “Sounds of Silence”  –   mainstream newspapers and TV news organizations totally ignore mounting evidence of a president accepting bribes from foreign interests

8. “My Kind of Town”   – wearing white tie and tails, Gavin Newsom sings and dances his way around homeless tents, drug syringes and human waste in his beloved hometown of San Francisco

7. “We Belong Together”   –   Kamala enthralls the Democrat National Convention with a cackling musical appeal to remain on the ticket with Joseph

6.  “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Migrant”  –   Socialist elected officials in Queens, NY say they want more illegal migrants in their districts!

5.   “Fool on the Hill”   –    Nancy Pelosi, Hakeem Jeffries and Chuck Schumer harmonize for a weaker military, expanding debt, higher taxes and getting re-elected

4.  “Sittin’ by the Dock of the Bay”   –   During the 40% of Joseph Biden’s presidency when he is away on vacation, our commander-in-chief is less likely to do harm to the American nation and its people while dozing on a beach

3.   “Abracadabra”   –    Telling the people to ignore what they actually experience, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre and Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen claim that wild deficit spending and punishing inflation mean that “Bidenomics is working!”

2.  “That’s What Friends are For”   –     Jack Dorsey and Mark Zuckerberg sing, groove and chortle, their lyrics explaining how they suppressed factual pre-election New York Post reporting about burgeoning Biden family scandals.

…and the NUMBER ONE POPULAR SONG to be RELEASED in 2024 is…

1.  “I’ve Got the World on a String”   –    Thanks to a waffling, confused American president,  deranged North Korean strongman Kim Jong-un develops more and stronger nukes, as he lobs ever-more-powerful missiles into the Pacific and the Sea of Japan

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “Everyone up here is bought and paid for….    No, I don’t have receipts.”

9. “Ethanol?   We don’t need no stinkin’ ethanol!”

8. “Looks like you personally consumed all that Biden Food Stamp spending.”

7. “If you need someone to say something, ask Kamala.   If you need someone to do something…    uh, we’re really up the creek now.”

6.  “My staff tells me to stand right here.”

5.  “Win or lose, I demand a recount.”

4.     “Why am I here?”

3.    “That’s Russian disinformation.”

2.  “A cognitive test? Me?”

…and the NUMBER ONE TALKING POINT THAT MAY NOT WORK WELL in UPCOMING DEBATES is….

1.  ” Look friends…  you’ve elected worse.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  She made it to the border!

9. Kamala’s pronouns are the same as yours.

8. Free Federal birthing midwives for all pregnant men!

7. Together, we can bail out more arsonists.

6. Without Kamala, Joseph Biden just won’t find his way.

5. For Kamala, crime is personal. As D.A. in San Francisco, she caused lots of it.                                                                               

4. There’s a “significance to the passage of time.” Vote Kamala.

3. They tell me I’m Joe Biden’s best insurance policy!

2. I love school buses, don’t you? I am your “education vice president.”

 …and the NUMBER ONE POTENTIAL TV TAG LINE for TV ADS URGING KAMALA to REMAIN on the 2024 TICKET is…

1. You have a binary choice: ME, or the folks supporting slavery in 2024.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “All the President’s Men” –  An intrepid reporting duo at the Washington Post is handed scandalous information about bribery payments directly into shell corporations controlled by the President’s family….   but conclude “nothing to see here.”

9.  “Gone With the Wind”  –  Most of the Atlantic whale population beaches itself, amazingly,  near Rehoboth, Delaware to escape one President’s construction of wind farms in the ocean.

8.  “Hocus Pocus”  – A cackling and much-disliked Vice President “identifies” as a sorceress, trying to create a “spell” so innocent Americans will gullibly believe the”Green New Deal” is not a toxic, inflation-boosting porridge.

7.  “The Lives of Others”  –   A dangerous alliance of socialist legislators, all-powerful busybody regulators, deranged climate alarmists and willing allies in the media work full-time to create a dystopian future without water heaters, gas stoves, combustion-engine cars, private-sector jobs and jet travel only for “certified important people.”

6.  “Snakes on a Plane” – In this fictitious romp, writers for the “Babylon Bee” release harmless, slithering reptiles on the private jet of  “Climate Czar” John Kerry, scoring points against arrogance and hypocrisy.

 5,   “The Social Network”  – Using raw political power, a presidential campaign and then the White House and Federal appointees cajole and bully Facebook, Twitter     and other social media to censor major news stories that might reflect less than glowingly on the 46th president.

4.  “No Country for Old Men” – A president and vice president shift nearly a trillion dollars out of Medicare to pay for an expensive, doomed socialized-medicine  scheme, while their progressive allies make the large cities they run hopelessly unsafe for senior citizens to live in.

3. “NOT Lost in Translation” –   During the president’s trip to Ireland, Gaelic speakers are visibly stunned when his remarks are correctly translated as “Let’s Go   Lick the World!”

2. “On the Waterfront” –  Government ethics officials and the national press corps seem completely disinterested in how an elected Federal official can afford an     oceanfront Rehoboth mansion, a Wilmington manor estate, exotic cars and a net worth to rival any oil sheik.

….and the NUMBER ONE MOVIE REFLECTING on the BIDEN ADMINISTRATION….  FIFTEEN YEARS from TODAY is……..

   1.  “Dazed and Confused”  –  Super-villains in Red China, Russia, Iran, Cuba and North Korea can’t believe their good fortune when the successor to “Captain                       America” is not only a defense-shrinking, doddering fool, but a man willing to go easy on bad guys in exchange for cash payments.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. “Moo Shoo….”    That’s Hunter’s nickname for President Xi.

      9.  “Wings”   –   access for Biden “friends” to fly around on Air Force Two and then Air Force One

  8..   “Cabbage.”     Think $30 million worth in Chinese Yuan direct deposits.

  7.  “Our Russki ATM”   –  affectionate moniker for Yelena Baturina, former First Lady of Moscow

  6.  That CEFC China Energy CEO Ye Jianming does spot-on impressions of Jimmy Cagney and Donald Trump.

   5.   No, “Sinohawk” is not a Biden shell company.   That’s a pet name for Hunter’s favorite Asian escort.

   4.  “See No Evil Dave” is a current U.S. Attorney.   Scratch golfer.

    3. “Yi ngxia ng li doushou” means “influence-peddling” in Cantonese Chinese.

   2.  What a card, that Kazakhstan oligarch Kenes Rakishev!     Saw him put the Vice President’s driver in a headlock, just like that!

    …and the NUMBER ONE YET-UNREVEALED COMMENT OVERHEARD AMONG HUNTER “BUSINESS” PARTNERS and “the BIG GUY” is…

1.  Yeah, we talked about the weather.   Like, the impact of blizzards on Burisma’s oil drilling operations in the steppes of Ukraine.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. What’s a “House censure” among friends? 

9.    I will always pursue the Trump , I mean the truth…

      8.   “California green” means $12 gas. 

7.   More wind farms, just not near mega-donors…

      6.   We never used “trillion” before Adam went to Congress. 

5.    Endorsed by 50 former US intelligence officials 

4.   The U.S. Senate needs a new Russia hoax, California!! 

3.   No border wall, but new Amtrak lines to nowhere…. 

2.   Supported by John Fetterman, Joseph Biden, Diane Feinstein, Fang-Fang, Jussie Smollett and Harvey Weinstein. 

…and the NUMBER ONE “ADAM SCHIFF for U.S. SENATOR” TV COMMERCIAL “TRIAL BALLOON” is… 

1.    Schiff Happens !!

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10. Grainy photo reveals Joseph Biden with a 5-inch wad of Ukrainian Hrvynian currency in his fist.

9. Kamala openly admired Catherine the Great’s priceless diamond earrings, as modeled by Dr. Jill.

8. When his cash income exceeded $4 million one year, Hunter condemned Obama-Biden income tax rates​ with compound cuss’ words.

7. The Biden family has actually been grifting for seven generations.

6.  Even during a sound asleep, Hunter denounces the New York Post, with salty language and volume.

5. Crack-cocaine appears to carbonate ordinary beverages.

4.  It takes a special man to look his best wearing only a kerchief.

3.   A great-great-uncle Biden was nicknamed “That Dang Swindler” by U.S. Senator Roscoe Conkling in 1881.

2.   Hunter narrates a short, 3-minute video on “how to cheat at blackjack.”

…and the VERY LATEST REVELATION FROM the HUNTER LAPTOP is…

1.  As Indian Prime Minister Norenda Modi arrived for the White House state dinner, a man from a Delaware-based insurance agency approached him about needing “protection” for the Taj Mahal.      

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.    “How ya doin’, Vladimir,   … I mean Volodymyr ?”

9.   ​ “That’s the BABY’s diaper you sense, sir….”​

8.   “Hey, what’s this bag of white powder near the American delegation?”

7.  “It’s dinner time, and the ‘Big Guy’s’ ASLEEP?”

6.    “Sir, please don’t compare Orban or Erdogan with ‘Cornpop.’”

5.      “VARE iss Hunter?”

4.    “​We​ Bidens can’t grift a single dang buck in Finland.”

3.    “There are 832 limos idling outside the ‘climate solutions’ session (as John Kerry’s private jet keeps circling…)”

2.    “You comin’ to the White House soon, Adolph…    I mean, Olaf ?”

…and the NUMBER ONE COMMENT OVERHEARD at the NATO SUMMIT in HELSINKI was…. 

1.    “No, sir, the President of Italy does NOT like having her hair sniffed.”

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .

10.  Three hashish pipes in the vice president’s outer office (same drawer as a copy of her “The Significance of the Passage of Time” speech)

      9.  A partially-completed application, in Alejandro Majorkas’ handwriting, seeking asylum in Venezuela

       8.  A stack of 138 glossy portraits autographed by Hunter, available for only $900 each. 

7.   A large beach cooler packed with subpoenas, speeding tickets, marijuana blunts and broken ankle surveillance monitors. 

6.    A late ‘90s-era women’s bathing suit found in the White House swimming pool filter 

5.   El Chapo’s sweaty t-shirt (DNA confirmed) located in the Briefing Room, under Jim Acosta’s seat 

4.   Pete Buttigieg spotted at 3 AM, simply refusing to leave. 

3.   An original copy of the U.S. Constitution, inexplicably ripped to shreds (The FBI may have fingerprints by 2025)

2. Self-serve iced tea dispenser in the White House Mess found to be laced with fentanyl, rushed in from our secure border

…and the NUMBER ONE NEW DISCOVERY by FEDERAL AUTHORITIES in the WHITE HOUSE COMPLEX is…

1.   Joseph Biden, wearing a robe at 10 AM, alone and sound asleep in the locked ​Situation Room.

“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.

To subscribe to the “Top Ten” for free, please visit  www.gipperten.com .  Then, complete the “subscribe” boxes and submit.

While on the site, you can catch up on previous Top Tens from 2016-2023 by scrolling back.   Enjoy!

To communicate with the editor, please e-mail  [email protected]  .