10. Mandatory essay exam for all public high school seniors: “Explain in 2,000 words or less how “globalizing the Intifada” will lead to world peace”
9. Halt life-threatening price-gouging by freezing the price of pizza by the slice
8.Ban on all street parking in Manhattan, except for celebrity and Mamdani staff limos
7. At your re-education camp, you can earn your copy of Das Kapital by answering the nice interrogator’s questions properly
6. NYPD will prioritize transgender hiring until a 40% quota is reached
5. Only New Yorkers who flunk Zohran’s “Marxist Pop Quiz” three times will be subject to firing squads 4. City employees will set their own salaries 3. Bridges, tunnels and highways will be reserved for Mayoral-endorsed mob demonstrations 2. The three remaining billionaires in NYC will be rewarded with an 80% city income tax
… and the NUMBER ONE UNDERREPORTED “MAMDANI for MAYOR” PROMISE is…
- If “no one is illegal,” squatting is to be encouraged. (Gracie Mansion excluded, of course)
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