- Got General Services to repaint my private “Tow Away Zone – Deputy Assistant District Director ONLY” parking spot.
- Convened three unit-wide meetings to figure out how we can keep doing DEI…. but come up with a new name for it.
- Took unexpended money from last fiscal year and bought everyone in the district office new briefcases. They used them at our “team building collective” conference, at the Ritz-Carlton.
- Prepared a helpful “Memo on Memos,” helping my colleagues to keep track of the dozens of memoranda from our Director, other supervisors, peers and subordinates that arrive each week. **
- During our daily office “Wellness Break,” we created snow angels to spell out: “Not ever, Mr. Musk!“
- Update our Federal building lobby directory so that President George W. Bush’s photo is finally replaced.
- Encourage participation in the building fire drill by offering massages and cocktails when completed.
- Create a new private website so that “trans” staff can continue their lascivious “chats” offline (though on Federal duty, as ever).
- Requisition a Federal passenger jet to bring our office staff to the poverty conference in the U.S. Virgin Islands. ***
…and the NUMBER ONE RESPONSE to “WHAT DID YOU ACCOMPLISH LAST WEEK?” is…
- Finalize implementing our new $32 million phone system, so that no American will ever be able to reach a human Federal employee at our agency.
TABLE:
** = At one Federal agency where I toiled, they actually created a “Memo on Memos.”
***= In December of one year, HHS’ anti-poverty “Head Start” program held its national conference in the Grand Hyatt Resort, then on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands.
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