10. For Karin Jean-Pierre: a new job with (finally) some believable material to promote
9. For top U.S. jurists: Red-and-green robes to be worn through Three Kings Day (January 6th)
8. For Kim Jong-un: A new U. S. Ambassador, Dennis Rodman
7. For Hunter Biden: Imagine his “art career” thriving without a White House connection
6. For Kamala Harris: With Whoopi moving to Broadway, “The View” is a venue that prizes both craziness and cackling!
- For George Stephanopoulos: A 7-second delay, so ABC staff can save him from defaming again
4. For AOC, Gavin Newsom and Elizabeth Warren: Free tuition to “Economics for Dummies,” taught by Larry Kudlow and Kevin Hassett
3. For Volodymyr Zelensky: New military aid from NATO members, including $99 earmarked for a new suit
- Color-coded French and English muzzles for Justin Trudeau
…and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS and HANUKKAH GIFT for 2024 is:
1. For Alejandro Majorkas: a waterfront cabin on the Rio Grande, but with no doorlocks
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