- “I coulda been a contender.”
-Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro, still befuddled as to why candidate Kamala passed him by
9. “Just consider that hypersonic missile landing in Kyiv as a dry run for St. Nikolaus’ sleighride…”
Your friend, Vladimir
8. “Dear Mr. President (Joe): Thank you so much for your four years of faithful holiday ‘gratuities’ to our peace-loving nation. Nevertheless, death to America.” -Iranian President Masoud Pezeshkian
7. “Dashing through the dreck, in a costly E.V. car,”
– Gavin Newsom , writing about avoiding “mishaps” in downtown San Francisco
6. ” Jill and I wish you a merry Presidents’ day.”
– Joseph Biden
- ” I was only playing Mrs. Santa Claus.”
-Governor Kathy Hochul explains her exploding budget
4. “This university proudly announces new ‘Safe Spaces’ for students celebrating the Winter Solstice.”
– University Vice President for Safety, Equity, Diversity, Sustainability and Mumbo-Jumbo.”
3. “Feliz Navidad , from Air Force 2, circling above the Rio Grande.” – Border Czarina Kamala Harris
2. ”We wish you a holiday filled with equity, prior to climate change submerging our beloved oceanfront mansion on Martha’s Vineyard.” – Barack and Michelle
...and the NUMBER ONE CHRISTMAS and HANUKKAH CARD INSCRIPTION is…
- “We hope that the aroma of roasting chestnuts and burning tires wafts into your living room, where you meet loved ones under the mistletoe and dangling Tampons.”
– Tim and Gwen Walz
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