“YOUR WEEKLY AMERICAN TOP TEN LIST” WILL BE ON HIATUS FOR THE HOLIDAY. WE WILL BE BACK IN DECEMBER.
BLESSINGS TO ALL FOR THANKSGIVING…
- Congressional “Squad” will declare that “Black Friday” sales are arranged exclusively for the benefit of capitalist predators.
- Since they are not back in the White House yet… Will McDonald’s be catering for Mar-a-Lago?
- Prices have gotten so that even George Soros and Bill Gates are switching from turkey to tofu and Brussel sprouts.
- At a Portland “birthing center,” “Pregnant people” in labor on Thanksgiving Day will be gifted with gender-fluid “Liberace-style” robes.
- Insurance salesman in Springfield, Missouri: “Honey, my cousins are here… please don’t refer to them as ‘that migrant caravan’ again.”
- On Wednesday, the President is hoping that, while pardoning a large turkey… no one will notice low-key clemencies for Hunter and Hillary.
- Kim Jong-un: “With enough kimchi, we can divvy up this turkey among 26 million loyal North Korean subjects.” 3. Another whopper from Gov. Timothy Walz: “We personally hunted for all this food today!”
- Prince Harry and Meghan: “We applaud all concerned citizens of the world, who join us in celebrating a ‘sustainable’ Thankgiving this year.” (MESSAGE FAXED FROM THEIR PRIVATE JET, CIRCLING LAX WHILE THE COUPLE FINISHES THEIR THANKSGIVING DINNER.)
…and the NUMBER ONE SIGN THAT THANKSGIVING IS “DIFFERENT” IN 2024 is….
- New York Times editorial headline to read: “GRATITUDE, FOR WHAT?
“Your Weekly American Top Ten list” is intended as humorous commentary, and is NOT a source of real news.
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