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TOP TEN LESSER-KNOWN FACTS ABOUT TIMOTHY WALZ

  1.  Tim Walz is unrelated to homonym actor Christoph Waltz… but both do hilarious things.

 

  1.  During his geography teacher days, he told kids that Cuba and Nicaragua were merely fighting for social justice.

 

  1.  Governor Walz seems to really believe that arson is “mostly peaceful.”

 

  1.   When he finally, belatedly called out the Minnesota National Guard​ during deadly riots Walz first asked for Quaker and Amish volunteers.

 

  1.   Walz-approved sex change surgeries for Minnesota children will be limited to those age 7 and above.

 

  1.   The governor believes the exodus from his state is due to weather, the Twins and Vikings, not Walz tax hikes or crime.

 

  1.   Walz’s Tampon machines in school-boy bathrooms accept cash, credit, Venmo and Canadian currency.This will be means-tested.

 

​     3.   When Mrs. Walz opened the windows to smell the “glorious” burning tires from the riots, neighbors complained about her microwaving fish.

 

  1.    After he claimed that socialism is like “neighborliness,” Walz added that armed robbery is like deep-tissue massage.

 

…and the NUMBER ONE LESSER-KNOWN FACT ABOUT GOVERNOR TIMOTHY WALZ is…

 

  1.  Walz loves Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, but isn’t personally anti-Semitic. 

 

 

 

 

 

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